Inside the Konoha Library
by Carumati
Summary: A library of Naruto one-shot ideas and plots.  Warnings inside.
1. In Medias Res

Note: I wanted to write a story that studies the process of returning home- like an Odysseus cliché and a study on bromance in the face of a shitty life. Drabble Format.

Plot Device: Naruto and Sasuke get kidnapped by Zabuza and have to find their way back through the treacherous route to Konoha. (No pairings.)

Warnings: language, molestation, mild OOC, minor Sakura-bashing.

**In Medias Res**

_To say that it's nothing to return home is not speaking the truth at all._

"Check out the road signs, teme." The blond pointed at the trees that bordered the path, each tree had an insignia of a spiral within the leaf. Laughing, the blond child crowed, "We finally found the roads. I told you I can break through genjutsu! I am totally awesome that wa-a-ay…" Groaning, the blond fell to the ground and slumped into the moss, his last traces of energy gone through his relief, excitement, and countless days of wandering. With his butt stuck up in the air and his face pushing into the dirt, Uzumaki Naruto whined, "My feet hurt sooooo much, Dattebayo!"

Uchiha Sasuke sighed as he plopped down by the road next to his brighter, louder counterpart. He methodically took off his worn sandals and began massaging them, rubbing out the slow burn from the chakra intensive exercise of jumping trees for hours on end. He idly dug a pinkly into his ear and sighed: if one had to stay at Naruto's side every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month, learning to tune out his voice soon becomes an art form. With a small manipulation of chakra in his palm, he conjured up a small ball of water from the humid air to drink. Then he made another ball and offered it to Naruto, who took the ball with three fingers and began to noisily and greedily slurp it. "We're near the road, dobe," Sasuke quietly admonished, "Stay quiet."

Naruto looked up from his diminished ball of water and used the water as a magnifying glass, surveying the surrounding with a practiced eye. "Don't see anybody, didn't sense anybody. Besides, chances are that the people who stumble on this road are Konoha nins or merchants who don't see the genjutsu in this area. Just chill out," though his voice did noticeably drop a couple decibels. The blond sat on his much dirtied cloak and pulled off his own sandals and wrinkled his nose. "Urrghh, Kami, enhanced senses suck. At least we're not getting foot fungus anymore, eh, teme?" Sasuke silently agreed. Accustomed to the silence, Naruto pulled out from his pack two small packages of dried fish that they had traded in a village from a satellite island from Mizu. "Last of our pack. Bunshins saw no rivers nearby; we're going to have to start hunting game again, teme."

Uzumaki popped a piece in his mouth and started the tedious process of trying to soften the meat. The process tended to make the jaw sore from all the strenuous activity, but after days without food, dry meat was better than no meat. Sasuke watched his partner for a moment before doing the same. "Man! Getting fish is so much easier. With rabbits, you have to strategize and actually use old team tactics like the pincher formation, like what we did with Tora. Though rabbits do taste better…" Sasuke blinked, it had been a long time since those D-missions, which seemed more a far memory, perhaps a fancy dream that didn't ever seem to exist. Utopia didn't seem to exist in the real world.

Holding his hands together in a ram seal, the Uchiha formed a single bunshin and mentally ordered it start picking herbs and edible vegetation in the area. One good thing about being a genius is that he had total recall; the lectures that Iruka gave out on survival training were one of the most useful memories he had to date. As soon as they return home, Sasuke was going to give the chunin a whole new meaning of respect and gratitude.

_Home_… Seemed like a word for the ages. Making sure that Naruto wasn't looking; Uchiha Sasuke allowed a small hint of a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. _How long has it been? More than half a year since that dreaded C-mission with Tazuna? Home… Konohakagure._

Naruto looked up, imitating the moves of a wary deer that had just sensed danger. After countless experiences, Sasuke knew not to question his paranoia. "Two people up north along the path, ninjas, probably… jounin?" The jinchuuriki mumbled the answer to the unasked question; he cocked his head five degrees to the right. "They already sensed us, no use delaying the inevitable," Naruto said it loudly enough for the arriving nins to hear. It was a secret message between them: _let them catch us. It'll be easier to escape later if they underestimate us._ Of course, each time they utilized that strategy, they were in risk of encountering the kill-first-ask-questions-later-mindset. So far, they had survived by the skins of their teeth.

Sasuke made sure to half cross his legs in a half-assed attempted to look like an untrained Academy Student, pulling his cloak around him to cover the shurinkens that were stitched to the underside of the thick fabric, and he waited. He calculated their prospects: 90 percent that the two nins were Konoha ANBU, who typically travelled in pairs when on patrol, 10 that they were walking in the middle of a Konoha invasion. _It's only the high B or A ranked nins in the Bingo Book that work in pairs._ _That's what Zabuza always said. _ Sometimes, the unspoken rule outside the villages gave him and Naruto a bit of lee-way from the other hostile elements such as bandits and missing-nins who would sense their chakra from a distance and suspect that they were really A ranked nins pretending to be weak. It was, apparently, an effective practice to capture nuke-nins favored by hunter-nins.

Either way, they were sadly outclassed. As they waited, Sasuke thought up of scenarios of their next course of action should their luck land them in the latter 10 percent. _If we do end up in the latter 10 percent, chances are that they are Oto-nins…_

He noticed that Naruto didn't move and didn't make any bunshin to alert the newcomers. _Dobe managed to gain some common sense over these months_, he thought humorlessly.

Two shadows appeared a meter of two before them, just barely on the edge of striking distance; their upper arms had the insignia of the Leaf tattooed on their skin. Sasuke felt himself minutely relax; he saw all the tension from his companion drain out of him, like somebody had pulled the plug. "Identification." The demand was stoic and emotionless.

"Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha genin, number 53762," the jinchuuriki said calmly, challenging them by staring straight into their masked eyes. The Uchiha gave the ANBU credit, not one flinch. Instead, the duo turned their attentions to him.

"Uchiha Sasuke, Konoha genin, number 53758."

_Readjustment seems too harsh for you._

"- and then teme gave the signal so I made everything explode! Bunshin Daibakuha! Though I got burns all over, don't think I did the technique correctly since that shouldn't happen, I don't think, since jutsus shouldn't hurt if you do it correctly. They burned straight through the fox's seal but nothing bad really happened. My hands burned for a couple days; teme had to apply the medicine that he got from the plants. And so when Zabuza got distracted, I yelled to teme and… Tajuu Kage Bunshin! And we made a break for it, Dattebayo! I left behind my cloned Haku. Then…" Sarutobi Hiruzen sifted through the childish, unprofessional report coming from Naruto's mouth to find the pertinent information. Truly, the story was almost too fantastical to believe. A pair of green genin hitchhiking all the way back to Konohakagure from Kirigakure with the most detours ever to date? How did they even manage to find a merchant path that lead to this village?

From time to time, the Sandaime had to turn to the silent companion who was content letting the other speak for both to verify the story's contents. All the Uchiha gave was either a small sound at the back of his throat or a nod. The old leader felt the urge to pinch the skin between his brows; he thought that this would be a typical morning, no stranger than the previous ones.

The pictures of Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke that were sent to nearby towns, inquiring on their whereabouts still did not reply back with any useful information and it had been months since their kidnapping. The news of the two genins being kidnapped by the nuke-nin, Momochi Zabuza, had sent most of Konoha over a tizzy. Poor Kakashi had been coping with his guilt by spending even more time at his usual haunts. The news had even reached Jiraiya wherever he had been, who had sent back a message via Toad with demands of "What the fuck happened to my godson, old man?" Both ninjas were currently hiding in the shadows behind him, unseen. Sarutobi can only imagine what they must be feeling: relief, astonishment.

Besides the wear and tear of their equipment and clothes, mainly the cloaks that had the obvious touches of the tailors from Mizu and a couple superficial wounds though from the looks of it, Uchiha had possibly suffered from a past broken arm that wasn't set correctly at the time. The Hokage made a note to have medics check up on them both.

The journey had changed them both. Naruto was still exuberant and hyperactive, but there is a hardened look in his eyes, possibly from field experience. The way he carried himself was loose and expressive, but he didn't wave his arms without abandon but in contained movements that only held the outer appearance of being reckless. On the other hand, the Uchiha who stood by the window, staring outside at the village, had the look of aged old wisdom and trauma etched into his eyes. Hiruzen would bet his entire Icha Icha collection that the young one had already achieved three tomoes. The Uchiha didn't move an inch if possible, his power was more hidden than Naruto's but not masked under a fool-like exterior. Idly, the Hokage wondered how they would work together on future missions- most possibly like a well-oiled machine, balancing one another in their faults and strengths.

Well, he sighed as Naruto's ramblings began to die down as he reached the final conclusion, it did make sense that the Konoha ANBU couldn't have found the genin pair; the boys were purposely avoiding the small towns. Committing the entire story to memory, Sarutobi waved the genins away, telling them that their jounin sensei would meet with them at Training Ground seven tomorrow morning. The two of them had disappeared in a small swirl of leaves.

"Interesting," Kakashi mused behind him, "they know the Shunshin."

"Yes, I suspect that their recent adventures allowed them to learn a few jutsus along the way, especially in dire needs of survival." Hiruzen replied tiredly, pulling out a blank scroll and began jotting down the essentials of what he needed to discuss with his old teammates. "That will be your job, Kakashi, to gauge their skill levels and report back to me."

"Hai, Hokage-sama," the other said amused, whipping out his familiar orange book from his back pocket, "thinking about the upcoming Chunin exams that will be in Suna in two weeks?"

"Yes. If what Naruto said is true, which does match perfectly with the reports from Jiraiya's spy network, regarding Orochimaru's desire for the Sharingan and the Atatsuki's desire for the Kyuubi, we will need to be prepared to take them two with us to Sunagakure. I think they are probably already chunin level at this point. They had already missed the previous exams here in Konoha…" _where only Nara Shikamaru was deemed chunin-worthy. _"We can put Team Seven back into commission again. Haruno Sakura will be pulled from Team Ten since the other two members will be working in tandem with Nara to infiltrate a nearby Yakuza port and won't be able to make it to Suna in time." He paused for a moment and the room was filled with sounds of his pen scratching the scroll, "What do you think Jiraiya?"

"Luck was on their side," the Toad Sage remarked, "for them to have escaped Atatsuki multiple times, it's almost impossible to comprehend, especially when one takes the young Uchiha's desire for vengeance into account. His self-control of flight vs. fight is admirable. Yes, we'll take them both to Suna in a week's time. Let them first relax among their friends, I daresay they deserve the rest." Jiraiya paused in thought before he finally said, "I'm really glad that their alive."

_Being shipwrecked sucks._

"Why, of all the ships we had offered, did you have to choose the ship that would get caught in a storm that it can't hold up to?" Sasuke snarled as he picked himself up gingerly from the beach. He flicked a piece of seaweed from his forehead and stared at the blond, not bothering to help him stand.

"Like you gave me any help, teme. You didn't say anything!" Naruto shouted back over the sounds of the waves, spatting out a mouthful of sand and pointing accusingly at the dark haired nin, "Suck it up, we're in Kaminari no Kuni with no hope of rebuilding the boat. Kumo has no trees. We have to walk back to Hi no Kuni and it's partly your fault too! You always think that you're above me! It's always, 'I must get stronger against aniki. I must kill aniki. I can't help you because I'm better than you and I must kill my goddamn aniki'!" Naruto pitched his voice mockingly high when he parroted his companion's words and waved his arms around near his head.

With a wordless shout, Uchiha launched himself at the blond. The two of them scuffled around the beach, uncaring of the rocks that dug into their backs, trying to hurt the other in any way possible. Their hate for each other had finally erupted into a massive red haze that blinded them of their perceptions. "Well maybe if you didn't mess everything up, you Dead-Last, none of this wouldn't have happened: not the ship, not Zabuza, not Wave!" He was aware that if they had any weapons at their disposal, they probably would've gutted each other by now. "We have nothing! We are nothing!"

"You're just mad that, for once, nobody is there to assure you of your little superior ass, teme! Real life is different from Konoha, isn't it?" The other spat out a bit of blood from biting his tongue. "You don't feel like the king of the world, don't you?"

The words felt akin to a slap across the face, but he recovered admirably. "You idiot! This isn't about me! This is about you and your foolish, stupid, brazen actions. That's the whole root of the problem. You don't think, Dobe!" Sasuke grabbed Naruto's neck and pushed down, knocking his head onto a rock. "You think that this is fun and games, it's not, you retard! Keep at it and you will die and I will laugh at your dead body because you can't take anything seriously, you annoying little shit!"

"You know what?" Naruto uncharacteristically sneered as he pulled on Sasuke's hair and kneed him in the solar plexus, "You think that being Rookie of the Year gives you entitlement to thinking that you have the right to…" With a cry, the blond threw the other boy off of him and lunged and knocked him into the sand, "I'm sick of this bullshit. Fuck you. No, no, no, scratch that. Fuck you and your brother and your goddamn clan. I hate every single one of you little, arrogant ass-fucks since I first met you! You think you know everything, but guess what? You don't know me! You don't know anything about me! You don't know anything about me! I hate you!"

Sasuke realized that at some point, he had activated his Sharingan. He also realized that Naruto's eyes were a feral red and both of them were leaking killer intent. They shouted insults, some that cut deep and could probably never fully disappear with time. They scratched, kicked, punched, and strangled one another and rolled around in the sand as the sun sunken over the horizon.

Within a couple of hours, their energy wasted and spent, with the sun having been replaced by the moon, they laid on the beach, listening as the waves lapped at their feet. Lying on his back in a starfish position, Sasuke stared up at the moon in a half daze, tonguing a hole in his cheek that he had somehow bitten out when he fought with Naruto. He heard Naruto pull himself up and head towards the pile of remains from the ship and sift through the wreckage. _If we had the chance, we probably would've been stabbing each other with the plywood and the splinters. Good thing that they were too far away at the time. _"Fuck," he heard the other curse, "I have sand in my pants." The Uchiha shifted uncomfortably: _so do I. _With another few rounds of colorful curses, he could hear, feel, and smell a fire being started.

He felt exhausted, emotionally, mentally, physically exhausted and much too sore to crawl closer to the fire, but he enjoyed the small wave of heat that tickled the bottom of his feet. Before he was about to pass out, he managed to call out through cracked lips, "Dobe…"

The reply was prompt. "Go suck a dick, teme. We'll talk tomorrow."

At that moment, a truce was made between the once rivals.

_We escaped the madness that comes in bouts._

Sometimes, Zabuza would see Haku's ghost drifting behind the blond one, smiling his sad smile that hinted at his calm, heartbreaking disappointment. Haku was disappointed in Momochi Zabuza. It was surreal experience- being haunted; it made him believe that Haku had some Yuki-Onna blood in his lineage.

In his grief, as Haku laid bleeding on the bridge with an open, gaping, chest, he had come to terms with one fact. The two Konoha brats had killed his tool, his companion, the most important person in his life and he wasn't going to let them off easy. They killed Haku; Momochi Zabuza demanded retribution.

So as soon as he was greeted with the chance, he had taken them both from right under Sharingan Kakashi's proverbial nose and took the pair as they were fighting tooth and nail, away from Nami, towards Kirigakure, thinking that they can finally help him achieve his dreams where Haku cannot. They owed him; they were to be Haku's replacements. Along the way, he had taught them basic chakra control, basic techniques, and a smattering of water based jutsus. He had been delighted by their potential- a jinchuuriki with unlimited amounts of chakra and the sole Uchiha survivor.

He didn't care what they thought of him; he didn't care that he was mentoring two possible killing machines that hated his guts. All he needed was for them to help achieve his purpose, to kill the Mizukage who had brought Kiri down into disrepair and shame. He knew that after the death of Yagura, only good can happen to his village. It didn't matter that the genin pair had made attempts to run away every night until it became routine and another lesson- to teach them on the fine art of escape, and it didn't matter that they had gave him glares so hateful that they were unconsciously laced with killing intent. They haven't made attempts on his life, but he knew it was only a matter of time. ("I'll kill you, dattebayo.") He taught them all they can learn and they learned. He taught them in his gruff voice laced with threats, he punished them whenever they were disobedient or not using their full potential. He taught them how to survive a nuke-nin lifestyle.

He told them his life dream and they stayed silent: he took that as a sign that they would help him and follow him in at least that.

Sometimes, looking up at the night sky, lying under a blanket that was so meager that he might as well have not been covered by anything, he wondered whether he had truly gone insane, like the Sandaime Mizukage or Hoshigaki Kisame or any other nin who had gone missing. He was quite sure that it was only grief, uncontrollable grief. Then he would dream of Haku's face and gentle demeanor.

He took his two new protégés into the heart of Chigiri, taking them through a pass in the straits that nobody hardly ever patrolled, and covered them in standard Kiri cloaks. He had them go out into the village and spread dissent in henged bunshin forms. A bit of complaint here, a protest there, a conversation in a bar amongst drunken chunins, a passing mention at a shop geared towards civilians. Small demonstrations and the Mizukage's quick eradication of any form visual dissatisfaction; it was the little things that built up. It was all made easier due to the fact of the Blood line massacres and the general fear and hate that permeated the village. The blond gaki had truly believed that he was doing justice while the dark one was silent.

On some nights, the three of them could easily engage each other in conversation regarding their beliefs, life perceptions, stories, and the like. Even the Uchiha would sometimes add his two cents in and mention his elder brother with utter hatred. Zabuza had traded that information with some of his knowledge of a mysterious group called the Atatsuki that had recently formed some years back that was gaining momentum in the wake of the fear they spread from the strengths of its ten members. Sometimes, when the sense of companionship grew to its heights, both genins were suddenly struck with the realization that they were fraternizing with their captor, the enemy, and would descend back into glaring silence. It was ok with him, fear and hatred had never hurt him before. Their relationship was half Stockholm Syndrome and half Authority Phenomenon.

The coupe had been a success.

After painstakingly planning the event for weeks, Zabuza Momochi had finally seen the results of his fruition and he was not disappointed in the slightest. Uzuamki had whooped with joy as his Bunshins had burst into flames and self-destructed. Uchiha had smiled when the mob finally stormed the Kage tower, pouring into the sacred tower on a blood hunt for the Sandaime's blood. They stormed through the administration buildings and drove Yagura to the edge of Mizu where they killed him in his three-tailed demonic form. _It will only get better_. Zabuza had repeatedly told himself as he savored the moment, uncaring as his protégés' eyes slowly regarded him with calculating looks. The moment was bittersweet. _I have a limited time to enough this. Haku, I hope you're watching. This is for you._

And when his two protégés executed the perfect kill and escape tactics on him, burning down the residential building with him in it and making it look like an accident, that he didn't feel the need to even try to retaliate. Waking up, he saw a kage bunshin, henged into Haku, sitting at the foot of his bed, with Haku's familiar soft smile. "Hello gaki," he had greeted blandly as the clone stabbed both his hands into the bedpost and gave him a grin worthy of a fox.

As his house burned into ashes around him, as kunai and senbon had pinned him down, rendering him motionless, he closed his eyes and waited for Haku's clone to detonate.

_Haku, I hope that you are happy for me._

_The mention of a miracle can be traumatic._

"They're back? I thought that," _they were dead_. Sakura bit her lower lip and tugged at her pink locks, unsure whether to squeal or shriek in surprise. For months she had assumed that her teammates had been killed by the nuke-nin that they had encountered at Wave. To hear the news that they were here, in Konoha, somewhere, was simply too… overwhelming. She turned to Kakashi-sensei whom she hasn't seen in months. Since the dismemberment of Team Seven, Kakashi had seemed to vanish from the streets. "You're not joking? Sasuke-kun is here?"

Kakashi gave his standard, one-eyed, Kakashi-smile, "As is Naruto-kun. Both are here in one piece."

_I have to tell the others about this. They're back! They're really back! Sasuke-kun is back! Will I be with him again? Ino-pig would be so jealous! _Sakura poked at her bento with her chopsticks (_she can't eat now, Sasuke-kun would think that she's fat!)_ and shot a look at the rest of Team Ten who were unaware of her conversation with her previous sensei, biting her lower lip nervously. "Does this mean that Team Seven will be back in commission? Will I be leaving Team Ten?"

"Yep!" The jounin replied happily, as if their months of haitus and non-correspondence were nothing but a blip in the radar. "And what do you know, just in time for the next chunin exams. Be at Training Ground Seven by ten tomorrow. Sayonara!"

All the excitement that Sakura felt suddenly froze into a pit at her stomach.

_They pulled off an escape worthy of jounins._

"Orochimaru-sama wants the Uchiha alive, but he didn't say anything about what we can do with his body." The crackling of the fire was the only other sound besides the voice and excited breathing of the man from Sound. The Oto-nin walked over and tugged at the chakra enhanced ropes to test their stability that bounded the Uchiha and stroked the boy's cheek and licked his lips, "I bet he's a little virgin. I bet his hole is small and tight and when I fuck him, he'll cry like a little baby." Said boy could only glare back since there was a piece of cloth shoved in his mouth.

"Orochimaru-sama probably won't like it," his partner warned as she poked the fire listlessly, her face laminated by the glow from the flames. She paused thoughtfully. "Do you think we should kill the blond to avoid complications? He's an unknown factor." She jerked her head at the tent where said blond was also bounded with ropes, though not chakra enhanced because he wasn't as important as the Uchiha, and knocked out, out of sight and out of mind. The blond was, according to some unreliable spies, _maybe _the missing Konoha jinchuuriki who had been kidnapped along with the lone Uchiha. But judging from the way the genin pair 'fought' back then they had ambushed them, they were pitifully weak and not a risk.

"Can it wait till morning? Not until I have my fun with the little Uchiha virgin. No one would know…" With a greedy glint in his eyes, the Oto-nin murmured as he groped the boy's behind, earning a delightful small whimper. "I'll just take him for one night… or maybe more…" Scoffing, the kunoichi turned away in disgust. "You'll like it, little Uchiha, I'll pump in you all night long and you'll learn to love it." The Oto-nin was already noticeably hard as he carefully pulled down the Konoha genin's pants and squeezed his bare ass, dragging his hands down to the boy's…

Then, a displacement in the air and a small noise in the wind: a kunai pierced his jugular. The Oto-nin's eyes widened as his hands reflexively went up to his neck in an attempt to halt the blood flow, but then another kunai landed in his forehead between his eyes, and he fell backwards, twitched twice, and stopped moving.

"Kuroshini-san!" Whipping out a kunai, the kunoichi stood up and successfully blocked the first barrage of shurikens that were hurled her way. She fell at the second wave of shurikens that had rushed from her blind spot. She became nothing but a body filled with small holes.

Uchiha Sasuke dropped gracefully from the trees tops; his face paler than usual as he walked towards his doppelganger, undid the binds and pulled out the gag. The doppelganger disappeared in a puff of smoke, in his place; Uzumaki Naruto struggled to pull his pants back up, his entire visage white as ghost. "Dammit, couldn't have done it earlier can you?" He breathed out, struggling with the buttons.

"The kunoichi was distracted and had purposely turned her attentions away from," he jerked his head at the shinobi, "When he was about to…" The pair of them descended into a silence. "This escape," Sasuke acceded, swirling a kunai around his finger, "Was too close for comfort. We have to be more vigilant next time, though thanks." He added, making sure to look at Naruto in the eye. _For switching with me just before they were about to capture us knowing that I had a better chance to escape as you when they bounded us with different ropes, one chakra-enhanced and one not, for enduring what I could've put you through…_

The other made an "hmph" sound, "Whatever, teme." Naruto walked up to the Oto shinobi and kicked him viciously in the balls a couple of times, "I" kick "need" kick "to" kick "take" kick "a" kick "very" kick "long" kick "bath." He rubbed his wrists and took several deep breaths; the fear in his eyes lessened to some degree as he viciously stomped on the man's stomach, "Wish that the fuckface was alive to feel this." He turned towards his dark-haired companion, "Did you…" He swallowed, his voice bordering on hysterics, "Did you _hear_ what he said?" _Do you know what could've happened if we weren't prepared? _"The bastard. He _touched me down there. _He friggin' _touched me!"_ Naruto's voice took a sharp turn to the hysterics before he fell silent. "You can't _do _that!" He stomped on the nin's head, driving the kunai even deeper into his brains.

Sasuke nodded silently and shoved his hands into his pockets. Not far from here, cicadas chirped and buzzed. The sound-muffling genjutsu that the Oto nins had set up had broken apart. The pair began to scavenge the dead's belongings, hoping to find more weapons and food. Nothing was spoken between them for the rest of the night. Sasuke wondered how many close calls they would encounter along a similar vein as this on their journey back to Konoha.

_A union of friends can be awkward._

"You don't stay at Ichiraku's to avoid being seen yet you still eat ramen. You are by-far one of the most predictable, unpredictable ninjas I have ever met," with that sentence, Sasuke fulfilled his quota of speaking for the day. They ate ramen on the roof of a four story residential building, swinging their legs to and fro from the edge. Judging by the empty bowls at his side, Naruto was on his fifth serving of noodles while Sasuke was savoring his second, which was stacked to the top with tomatoes. The blond carelessly waved in chopsticks at his companion, making a 'tsk-tsk' motion as if admonishing him that assumptions are never a good thing. Sasuke expertly flicked a noodle into the other's eye, earning a yelp and a long string of curses. That was how the rest of the Rookie Seven found the two boys.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cried in happiness, running over to his two teammates and hugging her long-time crush and relishing Ino-pig's screech in dismay. "How are you, I was so worried and scared!" She felt the body under her arms stiffen but she was so happy that she decided not to take note in his uncomfortableness. _Cha! All that mattered was that Sasuke-kun was back!_

She heard Naruto snort in the vicinity before he crooned in sadness, "What about me, Sakura-chan, don't I get a hug?" In response, she threw a scathing look at her idiotic teammate with a retort on her tongue before she froze. Naruto wasn't looking at her with admiration that he usually reserved for her since the Academy days but with a mocking grin, crooked and fake. _Does this mean that he no longer has a crush on me? Cha! That's good thing! _

…_right? _His eyes were the normal carefree sky-blue, but a chilling cobalt. Sakura felt her jaw unintentionally click shut and herself backing away from Sasuke, who eagerly shook her off and pushed her away, casting a grateful glance at the blond. Naruto grinned back with squinted eyes. Nobody in the Rookie Nine missed the exchange.

"How troublesome," Shikamaru sighed, breaking the silence and palming his face. "So I guess you both can't tell us what had happened?" The Nara took a seat on the other side of the blond shinobi.

"Classified," Naruto chirped, setting aside his bowl of ramen and placing his hands delicately into his lap with his palms up in askance, "But you can tell us what had happened here when we were gone!"

"Nothing much," Ino sniffed, shining her nails on her shirt, "more dumb D-ranked missions. We had the chunin exams a while ago, it's a test for genins to become chunins; it was divided into three parts. First part was OK, second was a bitch, and third was just stupid…"

"That's because Sakura and Ino knocked each other out in a fangirl-ish, no-jutsus all out brawl in the preliminaries declaring their love for the deceased Sasuke-kun!" Kiba chortled before receiving identical bumps on his head and falling to the ground with spirals in his eyes. Akamaru whined. Shino sighed behind his high collar.

Ino ignored them, having already integrating into the legendary Yamanaka gossip-mode, "Only Shikamaru was advanced to chunin, even though he lost to this girl from Suna with a big fan. There were another two genins from Konoha with chunin potential from Team Nine; they were a year above us and insanely talented, though their sensei is a piece of work. One of them, Rock Lee, was knocked out by this crazy boy named Gaara who wanted to kill him. Another was Hyuuga Neji, Hinata's cousin, but he wasn't allowed to become chunin because his lack of control over his emotions or something…" Ino trailed off, tapping her lip. Hinata squirmed behind her and tapped her index fingers together. The blonde sighed mournfully, "It's too bad that Chouji and I can't enter the chunin exams at Suna this time. Baka sensei. We totally would've rocked. Maybe the Hokage will promote us based on field experience or something."

"That's so cool, dattebayo!" Naruto whooped, pumping a fist into the air, "Teme and I will be in the chunin exams in Suna! Sakura-chan! Aren't you excited? It'll be like old times except better!" He laughed, "Teme and me learned all these cool awesome moves when we weren't here. We improved a lot! You improved too, right, Sakura-chan? We'll be like Team Seven reloaded!"

"I… I learned a lot of things too!" Sakura blatantly lied, laughing loudly. "So you better be ready for me too!" Judging by the glances Ino-pig and Chouji shot accusingly at her, her lies didn't go unnoticed. Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other and then stared at her with calculating eyes... Sasuke huffed disdainfully and looked away while Naruto grinned mockingly at her. The group trailed off into awkward silence as Sakura squirmed guiltily. After she had transferred to Team Asuma, she had developed her new teammates' habits of laziness, only deigning to play shougi from time to time with her new sensei and learning a couple of new, low-level, non-chakra intensive genjutsus that were sent to her from her old sensei. She had been unaware until recently that her teammates had additional, rigorous training that their clan families had forced them through. Her stamina had barely improved and her chakra levels had barely risen since her last poor showing at the chunin exams. She was only delaying the inevitable humiliation in front of the public.

The Rookie Seven was struck by how much they relied on the other's presence to function. _How troublesome. Naruto speaks for both himself and Uchiha-san. As much as Naruto talks and moves, Uchiha stays silent and vigilant. It must be a pain trying to fight both of them at once; they're probably very familiar with each other's actions and responses in battle. I would hate to meet with them on the other side of the fight should something like the second part of the chunin exams repeat itself. Both of them contain high situational awareness. _Inwardly, Shikamaru calculated his observations and made deductions. Outwardly, he massaged his temples. _I wonder how much they learned and how much they improved. They are obviously enigmas at the moment: they could still be genins, they could've long bypassed the requirements to be a chunin. It's too bad that we don't know what happened to them during their disappearance._

The disappearance of the two genins had caused unexpected amounts of frenzy amongst the older population, leaving the Rookies to wonder what was so important about the Rookie of the Year and the Dead Last. Though most can explain the importance of being the Last Uchiha, many were puzzled as to why Uzumaki Naruto's kidnapping had also garnered so much attention. Since the news that the Uzumaki and the Uchiha had returned to Konohakagure; the village worked itself back into a frenzy of excitement. There were many rumors of what might have happened. Maybe Uzumaki had lured Uchiha out of the village walls and held him for hostage. Maybe Uzumaki had decided to eat Uchiha to gain the powers of the Sharingan. Maybe Uzumaki decided to abandon the village and had convinced the Uchiha to follow.

The rumors were obviously false. Shikamaru had asked Hatake-san what had happened but the only information he gotten with his chunin status was that it had to do with a mis-labeled mission: a C turned A rank. Sakura verified that information, also noting that Momochi Zabuza had kidnapped them after the death of one of his own subordinates. Shikamaru had read about Momochi-san in the Bingo Books and he can't possibly imagine why the Demon of the Mist had decided to keep Naruto and Sasuke alive. More answers brought even more questions. It like he doesn't know anything at all.

And Naruto kept smiling. And Sasuke kept silent.

"Hope you guys are prepared," Kiba warned, wagging a finger, as Akamaru whined and growled, "The chunin exams are tough, really tough."

Naruto tapped his chest and made a victory sign, "We're prepared for anything, dattebayo!"

_Meeting one's brother is not therapeutic in the slightest._

"Hey teme. That guy looked exactly like you but older, he's the one you keep talking about, right?" Naruto hummed in thought as he peered around the chimney for any passersby or spies or hidden ambushes; he turned back and finished bandaging the flesh wounds that littered his companion's body, wrapping the gauze tightly around the other's left leg and yanking on them for good measure, "I always thought that you wanted to kill him in dignified cold fury, not reckless… abandon. Because you're like cold fish or a stick in the mud- well, just pick one." He yanked again and got a grunt for his efforts. Naruto propped Sasuke up with his back to the chimney and pulled up his shirt with limited protest to apply the ointment that Sasuke had made only hours prior. The Uchiha gasped and hissed at the contact. "Stay still," the blond tsked, "it's enough that your arm is broken, I can't fix that though I can try to make a cast, but whatever you saw through that genjutsu that Itachi had put you through had you biting halfway through your tongue. Now I have to be sure that you aren't insane."

"The illusion weren't as bad as the first time." The Uchiha managed to choke out through a mouthful of blood.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, "Really teme? That's all you have to say? Not, 'I'm sorry that I rushed at Itachi with no plan in mind as soon I spotted him on the streets'? You ran at him like a madman with a kunai in one hand and blowing a small stream of fire in the other. Did you even notice his partner? The one who was blue, with gills and a huge-ass sword who was laughing his head off at you?"

"Shut up." The Uchiha grumbled, suddenly interested in the patterns of the shingles on the roof.

The blond shinobi was relentless. "How does it feel to be outclasses and helpless? Because that's how I saw you. You couldn't do anything. It was like a mouse believing that he can beat a snake in the duel to the death. He was a stupid mouse." The blond replied with a malicious tint to his voice, "Not going to be so reckless anymore, right? You're going to be careful and not charge headlong into anything without _thinking_. How did you think we are alive now? By watching and waiting."

"I said _shut up_." Sasuke snarled.

Uzumaki Naruto poked mercilessly at a bruised rib, "It was only because of my swarm of Kage Bunshins and a surprise Kawarimi that I managed to take you away." He stopped applying ointment in mid-rub, reliving the memory in his head, "Oh yeah, and guess what? That was an entire day ago. You were unconscious for an entire day. You wasted a day of your life. The landlady kicked us out because you were bad business and didn't even give us back our money. I could've had warm sheets and a bath… but _no_, you got _stupid_. You owe me, big time."

"He is my brother, the one who killed my clan, the one whom I swore by my parents' grave that I would kill." Sasuke muttered through a drug induced haze. Naruto visibly twitched. "I thought that he would give me answers …"

"Of what?"

"…" Sasuke turned his face away from the setting sun, "during the coupe at Chigiri, I saw somebody behind the Sandaime. It was an Uchiha with the Mankeyo Sharingan. At first I thought it was aniki, but later in the rebellion I got a better look before he put on his orange mask. I recognized him from the paintings and portraits on my family tree." Naruto glanced over worriedly as Sasuke coughed again, spitting blood onto their stolen white sheets, "He was Uchiha Madara. He was talking to this other person who he called… Pein and they were discussing Itachi. Apparently, Madara and aniki had met up before my clan's massacre and… Not sure- Atatsuki? Madara's supposed to be dead; he wasn't supposed to kill kin. Madara said that aniki didn't want to… I didn't know and… They…" Sasuke coughed weakly and spat out a glob of blood, pulling his shirt down and covering his wounds from view.

Naruto leaned back and sat on his knees, crossing his arms across his chest, regarding his companion with a critical eye. Below them, the streets of a small village in Yu no Kuni was bustling to and fro, filling the air with chatter about inane events. None of the civilians thought to look up at the two genins that were recovered in the shadow of a chimney. Uzumaki looked longingly at the hot springs a few blocks down that sent a constant wave of steam into the winter sky and sighed.

"Just when you thought that you knew everything in the world." Sasuke sneered, gripping the sheets so tightly that his knuckles turned white, "You realize that your ancestor had come back from the dead to screw you over." He forced himself to sit up straighter and to loosen the kinks in his neck.

There was a significant pause between them, one that wasn't uncomfortable but thoughtful. "Teme. Ever wondered whether we are both part of something bigger?" Naruto hesitantly asked; little puffs of steam came from his mouth and blended with the sky. "Like, we play a role is something so dynamic that we don't understand the greater picture."

"Hn. Like we are nothing but tools in someone else's hands?" The Uchiha snorted and ghosted his hands over his bandages, "Sometimes."

"I think about it all the time." The other plowed on, wiping the blood from Sasuke's chin with the bed sheet, "It's like each individual cloud not knowing that they contribute to the beauty of the sunset. But we're not becoming tools any longer." The blond smiled but it didn't reach his eyes; he laughed harshly, "Look on the bright side: we learn more every day. We learned that you're brother has ulterior motives in killing your clan. We learned that your ancient ancestor that's supposed to be dead had ulterior motives in killing your clan. We learned about the secret organization that wants to capture and kill me that your brother is a part of… what was it, again?" He scratched his chin thoughtfully as he squinted in the orange glow of the sunlight.

"Look at the designs on their cloaks," Sasuke said tiredly as he sunk into sleep, "Red Dawn. Atatsuki."

_Training is painful in a mental sense._

Kakashi looked down on his two world-weary students over his Icha Icha. _Uzumaki Naruto and Sasuke Uchiha: how much you two have grown_. _The report to the Hokage will be a pain_. He inwardly groaned. "Let's take a break, you two did well." The two genin were sprawled on the ground, surrounded by their weapons, breathing heavily and groaning. _Not sure whether I should be proud of them for their improvements or indignant knowing that I wasn't the one who was their sensei._

That is, if they could be called genins. Their skill levels far surpassed the rank of chunin. _I bet that Momochi Zabuza taught them more than I ever could. Not only did he manage to hone their chakra control, he managed to imprint and coax out their water affinities, no matter how much of an affinity they have. To have somehow managed to pull it out of an Uchiha who as a clan generally hold fire affinities and a jinchuuriki whose demon is a fire affinity is impressive. _Kakashi snapped his book shut and tucked it in his back pocket. _From genin to low tokubetsu jounin: that's really impressive._

He mentally listed their talents. _Handless seals in the Academy basic jutsus, able to shunshin, their taijutsus have a noticeable influence of the Mizu style and they use their kunais almost like an extended arm. I think, if given more time, Momochi might have begun teaching them the ways of the Seven Swordsmen. Their knowledge of Suiton jutsus had exponentially increased; I don't think they showed me all the techniques they learned. But their biggest improvement…_ Naruto groaned and whined about his poor feet. Sasuke rolled his eyes and smacked his teammate across the head. _Their biggest improvements would be their ability to take into account the other's abilities. Their situational awareness and usage of field tactics are amazing. Their ability to strategize complex plans is what sets them apart from the average chunin. _Kakashi gazed around at the battleground that is Training Ground Seven and the many holes and scorches that littered the grass and trees. _Naruto's kage bunshin always shamelessly plays a big role in these plans. It's quite amazing._

_It's quite amazing what their trials had forced them to learn. Their improvements are monumental._

_On the other hand: Haruno Sakura._ Said pinkette was knocked out due to a standard genjutsu and a latter blow to the head. It had been all over for her. Repeated attempts to awaken her made by her blond teammate were unsuccessful.

The jounin gave all three of his students a closed-eye smile, "I'll be signing you all up for the chunin exams which will take place in a week at Sunakagure. Ask Sakura about the details. I'm sure she has exciting tales to tell about her performance." He disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

_Haruno Sakura. _He lamented when he reappeared on a roof of a civilian complex. _I'm quite disappointed in her. If it wasn't for the scrolls of various genjutsus that I managed to paw off of Kurenai, I would have thought that she had gotten worse. Her stamina and chakra reserves clearly retreated back to her beginning genin days. Clearly Asuma isn't forcing his teams through exercises and training regimens. _ The jounin sighed and shook his head. _It looks like these chunin exams in Suna will be another case of "two shinobis bodily dragging the kunoichi through the tests" sort of deal. I don't know how to deal with her. Rin was never a burden…_

_They insist on being unseen._

"Shh!" Sasuke clasped a hand over Naruto's mouth before he could say something that might blow their cover like:

"_Hey teme, think I saw your brother back there."_

"Dobe," Sasuke hissed, "Not a word. They're looking for you." He grunted in disgust when the blond licked his palm. "They saw me but they didn't think that I saw them. They know that you're with me. Now shut up, your voice carries." He wiped his hand on the other's cloak.

"Ehh?" Naruto whispered back and snickered, "You're not going to charge at them with a war cry?" _That comment was hit below the belt. _The jinchuuriki quickly sobered up when he received a blank stare in return. "Yeah, yeah, I got you, I got you."

They stood in the shadows by overfilling garbage cans; the pungent smells were almost heavenly to his senses. Sasuke grimaced as he breathed through his mouth: _I have hit a new low. I am willing to eat garbage. If we ever kill Hoshigaki, I'm going to turn his body into sushi and eat it. _"How're your hands?" He prodded in an attempt to cull his thoughts.

The jinchuuriki shrugged and winced as Sasuke took his bandaged hands and looked them over. Some parts were red and peeling, other parts were charred, "it'll take at least another two days to heal. The burns were pretty bad this time around but nothing I can't handle. Hebi-teme's people caught us by surprise and my control over the Bunshin Daibakuha weren't so good this time. I'll get better, dattebayo." He shoved his hands back into his pockets before they could endure any further abuse, "Hebi-teme must really want you, Sasuke. This is the fourth time they tried to track us down and this time; they used Yakushi and the bone guy too."

_That's it, this is the last time we're ever staying for a prolonged period in a populated area, and it's just way too risky with so many people after us. Dammit. _Sasuke gritted his teeth and toughed his resolve. _Dobe won't be happy to hear this but he should understand when I explain my reasons to him when we get out of aniki's sight. No more temporary beds, no more onsens, no more integration with the regular people. We'll have to stay in the wild. _"We have to leave." The Uchiha declared softly, interrupting his companion in mid-sentence. "Won't be long before they start asking the villagers and though blonds aren't uncommon in Kaminari no Kuni, pale skin and black hair isn't. We're leaving now; you have your stuff with you?"

The other genin smiled, wide and no teeth, "You know me, teme. I always have my stuff with me."

_The chunin exams will be a piece of cake._

"Never been to Suna," Naruto mused as he strapped on his weapons belt. He dug through his treasure trove of broken and rusted kunais that he had picked up on the road, thinking about selling them to the local blacksmith. "Might get a few ryo out of these…" He craned his head back and observed as his friend bandaged his arms and knuckles in preparation for the long trip. "Think it'll be the same as Kiri or Kumo or Oto or Hi? Drier I bet, much drier."

"Hn." Sasuke replied, pulling at his bandages and tying them down.

"Yosh!" Naruto pumped a fist into the air, "We'll blow them apart! They won't even know what hit them."

_The most important part of it was the bonding experiences._

"I can't take it anymore!" Naruto screamed in frustration, kicking at the trunk of the nearest tree, cracking it in half. Then he summoned nearly a hundred Kage Bunshins and had them each start screaming and hurling themselves at any sturdy object in the vicinity, no jutsus. That was the constant rule: no jutsus. Sasuke blinked as his companion started splintering trees, pulling up rocks and throwing them into the air. He watched as the blond vented his frustrations on their surroundings, taking care to make sure that no one else stumbled upon them in their vulnerable state. He didn't need to worry much; hardly anybody ventured on the border of Yu no Kuni and Ta no Kuni.

_This is the first time I saw him loose so much control over himself since we were shipwrecked on the shores of Kumo. It took his more than half a year to crack and that was only through the harshest conditions._

"I hate this!" Uzumaki Naruto seethed as he continually pulverized a boulder with his kicks, "Why does everybody we ever meet want us dead? You can't relax! It never ends! Everybody! Everybody wants something out of us. Kyuubi! Sharingan! Tools!" Uzumaki kept ranting, destroying everything he could get his hands on, some tears were threating to appear at the edges of his eyes, "we are tools! Tools! Tools! Tools! Everyone will use us and take things from us! Bandits try to steal from us, missing nins try to steal from us and then kill us, it never ends! I fucking will…!" With a scream, he unintentionally channeled chakra into his punch and splintered a tree.

_I had already vented through this method a couple of times already. _Sasuke thought, drawing a small picture in the ground with a senbon he had procured from a missing nin they had bumped into some days ago. _To see him loose it is quite worrisome. _Naruto is more of a constant: he rarely gets angry and when he does, they're so uncharacteristic of him, one wonders if Naruto is still the same person.

"I hate my life." He heard the blond panted and moaned, "I hate Zabuza…"

"Do you?" Sasuke mused, looking up from his work.

Naruto glanced over and smiled self-depreciatingly as he laughed bitterly, "Do I? He was the one who started all of," he gestured grandly at nothing in particular, "this. All of this. Can I say that I hate him? I don't know." His bunshins were still kicking at rocks, shaking giant trees, throwing up dirt. "Circumstances forces change, were we fated to get repeatedly screwed over in life?"

Sasuke made an "Hn" sound and dug into his pack for some dried fish and cold rice balls and offered them to his companion, who didn't take any.

Naruto made a frustrated, growling noise at the back of his throat, snapping his head in the direction of an unknown clearing before relaxing, "Because of him, we're here, away from everything we're familiar with. He took us. He kidnapped us. He changed us. I just… want to go home. Used to hate Konoha, but now I idealized it too much to care." Naruto slumped in the clearing as his clones continued to wreak havoc on the vegetation, some bunshins popping every now and then. "He shaped us into who we are: two people desperate to survive. You and me against the world. You know?"

Sasuke silently agreed. The nuke-nin had taken them in and molded them into something that Konoha would never have been able to achieve. They had the will of fire and the will to life; they were hardened and tested, again and again. He mentored them with more care than Kakashi-sensei or any other Konoha jounin could possibly pull off. _How can you hate a man like Zabuza? It's all mere circumstances. Who can you blame? Just like: who can you hold onto, but each other?_

Naruto dug into his pack and pulled out a sake bottle and two small bowls, "nicked it from out last landlord," he offered in explanation. "You and me, we're going to celebrate. Today is an important day…" He poured equal amount of alcohol into each bowl, "Because I said so. We're old enough to kill, therefore we are old enough to drink."

They cupped their bowls like they were precious artifacts. "Ever wondered what would've happened if we weren't kidnapped? Would we have stayed the same? Would things still have changed?" Tilting his head thoughtfully, Naruto was the one to make the first toast as he raised his bowl towards the sky, he intoned, "To Zabuza."

"To survive." Sasuke quietly returned. They drank a gulp; it burned all the way down. Naruto coughed.

"To home." He said more hoarsely.

"To the half way mark." They drank again.

"To life."

"To life's goals."

Naruto stared at him above the bowl line, his blue eyes assessing him. "Life's goals." His face split apart in a foxy grin. "Kanpai."


	2. Best Friends

Note: A retrospective look on Sasuke's relationships and Naruto's bitter humor. Drabble Format.

Plot Device: Naruto never bonded with Sasuke over the mission at Wave. Therefore, Sasuke's closest 'friend' is Kakashi.

Warnings: language, mild OOC.

**Best Friends**

_1. Best friends?_

"I never thought my own student would come at me with the Chidori," Kakashi laughed humorlessly as he observed his student from a hospital window. Orochimaru's cursed seal was still pulsing on Uchiha Sasuke's neck, flowering out and retreating to his heartbeat. "Of all the outcomes of when he would submit to the cursed seal, I didn't expect that." The beeping of the monitors that regulated the Uchiha's vital stats did not break from their rhythmic beeping. There was a medical staff on call at all times; Konoha didn't want to lose their last Uchiha.

Feeling every second of his life catch up years at a time, Sarutobi Hiruzen sucked and puffed on his pipe a couple of times and said casually, "I had a couple investigators search through the Uchiha grounds and what we found did explain some of his actions." The Hokage cleared his throat, "Scrolls from the family library hidden under young Uchiha's bed in a small box detailing the ultimate form of the Sharingan, one that's even beyond the three tomoes. Sounds familiar, Kakashi? No? What about the _Mankeyo Sharingan?_" Kakashi slowly turned to regard the Hokage with one lone eye, only moving his neck and nothing else.

"No it doesn't, please elaborate." Subtle steel laced the inner parts of the jounin's voice, like a small lining of frost on corners of the windows during the winter, it could hardly be noted. "Please elaborate why he, a genin, decided to try to ambush a former ANBU captain at Training Ground Seven to kill said former ANBU captain with his own jutsu."

"The Mankeyo Sharingan is what Itachi had when he trapped you in his Genjutsu, Tsukuyomi. You wrote of it in your report after you had recovered from your last encounter with him, intriguing effects I must note. Ibiki was quite adamant on reading your files though I stopped him from going any further. The Uchiha clan scrolls gave us a lot of insight." Hiruzen took out his pipe and scratched his beard, "Did you know that to gain such a powerful gift such as the Mankeyo Sharingan, you have to pay a price, you have to suffer a trauma on your very psyche that twists your mentalities." The jounin stared at him through his lone eye, unreadable; the vein on the back of his left hand twitched once. "You have to destroy a relationship that personifies your connection with an outside family member. Specifically, you have to experience the impacted feelings of killing your best friend. You have to think about the action, recall every detail of the memory and question yourself how it changes you. Only when you openly aknowledge it can you gain the Mankeyo Sharingan."

The grey-haired jounin pondered the speech for half a minute; the heart monitors in Sasuke's room continued to beep rhythmically. "His closest companion not related by blood you say?"

"_Your death will be my gain. I feel partially bad for doing this, Hatake Kakashi, you were a good teacher and I only wished that I learned more," Sasuke had spoken with a low tone with minimal amounts of regret. His skin began to turn blue as tomoes erupted in a networking pattern across his skin. A bandaged hand clenched as they began to channel lightning chakra, the sounds of chirping of a thousand birds filled the air. Kakashi blinked, unable to believe what was going on. "Sayonara…" Sasuke's Sharingan flared to life, he disappeared in mid-step, "Chidori!"_

"He thought it was me? I'm flattered." Kakashi said blandly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"The medic nins don't expect him to wake up for at least another couple of days. Interrogation is anticipating his wakening." Sarutobi stepped back from the door and walked down the hall, the jounin followed.

_Kakashi stared down at the half burned genin knocked out at his feet. It had taken a Katon jutsu, a Kawarimi, and a blow to the head to knock out the Uchiha. It was pathetically easy and did not compare well with the revelation that his student just tried to murder him. The Copycat-nin watched in morbid fascination as the cursed seal on the Uchiha's neck junction began to retreat back to the original bite source before he sighed and took the boy to the section in the hospitals they reserve for enemy nins._

"Though I must ask myself," Kakashi murmured, "If he thought that I was his closest companion, then what could he have possible considered Naruto or Sakura? My contact with him was limited and for him to think that I was his so called 'best friend'… Were the three of them ever close? I thought they were, especially after the team bonding exercises I pushed them through and the infamous mission to Wave. Sasuke pushed Naruto out of the way of a senbon barrage. I thought at that moment that they had finally reached a weak understanding."

"Apparently not," the Hokage answered crisply, pushing open a door that led to a sky bridge to the administration building, "Your observations of Team Seven therefore could not be trusted. You know how much Homura, Koharu, and Danzo have been demanding reports of the children's psychological state. While I can pass off some of Uchiha's actions off as Orochimaru's influence, it does not hide the fact that Mitarashi Anko, another victim of the cursed seal, is still loyal to Konoha, and that his loyalty to his teammates and his sensei is non-existent." There was a tense silence between them; Kakashi bit his tongue to prevent himself from making a harsh rebuke, "Now that I have time to think about it," The elder man sighed, "both Naruto and Sasuke's mental reports are probably grossly incorrect. I'll have to call Naruto in and question him.

"It'll have to have an informal appearance though. For some odd reason, the sight of Danzo used to make him freeze when he was little. Maybe the questionings should be conducted in a place that he is familiar with, somewhere outside the office. I'll need to have Ibiki and Inoichi and my two old teammates observe the proceedings without being seen and write a whole new profile for him… Troublesome." The aged leader opened the last set of doors and walked into the Hokage's chamber. He waved a hand, dismissing one of his best jounins, but not before adding, "You weren't a bad sensei, Kakashi. But I think both of us underestimated the genins' capabilities of hiding their inner thoughts from their commanders. To have such an event blow up in front of me, right after the chunin exams…" Sarutobi heaved a sigh.

_Look underneath the underneath._

_2. Not best friends?_

"Teme got sent to the hospital?" Naruto broke his concentration from target practice to look up questioningly at the newcomer that had walked onto Training Ground Seven, his blue eyes widening in a reminiscent personification of innocence. The Hokage picked up a bit of malicious glee hidden underneath his voice, "Really? Why Jiji?"

"Uchiha Sasuke," Hiruzen lightly admonished, "It's rude to call people names, Naruto-kun."

Said genin frowned at his weaponry before redirecting his attention back onto the kage. "Did he do something bad? Because that's really weird since everybody says that he can't do anything bad." Naruto threw his head back and started laughing, as if he had told himself a really funny joke; he pulled back his arm, ready to lob another set of kunais onto the targets on the trees that lied on the other side of the field. The blond snorted and smiled a face-splitting grin at the Hokage that accented the whisker marks on his cheeks.

Ibiki watched from a nearby tree, judging their visages and taking mental notes. _Subject does not fully respect his sensei and is obvious in his thoughts; reason is probably a recent occurrence. _At his side, he could feel Kakashi watching the events unfold beneath them. "Take a good look Kakashi, you might have been misinterpreting your team dynamics right from the start." The blond brat glanced in their direction, his eyes narrowing minutely. _Subject has enhanced senses that were not previously documented, possibly a side-effect of what he contains._

Sarutobi decided to not approach the blond in a subtle manner but to ask the question directly. "How close were you to Sasuke?"

"_Were_ to Sasuke? Did you just say _were_?" The blond perked up, "What does that mean?" A bushin popped into existence without any hand seals and ran off the collect the scattered weapons. "Because, remember when I asked you, jiji, when I could switch teams, and you said, 'become a chunin and you'll work with many people.' And I remembered that and I tried hard at the chunin exams." _Subject is used to misdirecting questions. _"So…" Naruto dragged the word until the aged nin gave him a disappointed look, "About my closeness to Sasuke? The teme can rot in the shinigami's stomach for all I care. We're not close at all. Sakura-chan is probably closer to him than me." Uzumaki Naruto threw another set of kunais and listened to the satisfying _thunk_ _thunk thunk _sounds they made as they hit the wood. _Subject seems bitter about his circumstances. Possible favoritism? Though favoritism is expected in the four-man cells, this is one of the side-effects that the Shodaime didn't anticipate._

"There was absolutely no connection between you two?" Sarutobi pressed, sucking on his pipe and Naruto's bunshins brought back an armful of weapons.

The genin gave the Hokage a strange look, "Whatever little teammate sessions my sensei planned out didn't work at all, if that was what you were wondering about, jiji. Teme…

_I have one goal in my life and that is to kill a certain someone: that is what drives me to improve. I will be the best and I will pull you down if I have to to maintain my superiority over others. Everybody acknowledges me as the Rookie of the Year and no Dead Last will usurp my position. You are a Dobe, Uzumaki, no one respects you, no one likes you, but they love me and they will always love me no matter what I do._

"… is an douche. Uchiha is a grade A douche, a real piece of work." Naruto finished inelegantly. "Every single action was designed to further his ambition. He had no close people." Grumbling, he pulled out a few shurikens and flicked them at some smaller targets, "Don't know why everybody likes him. Nobody looks at Sakura and I, it's always Uchiha this, Last Uchiha that, Sharingan training more." _Subject is jealous of Uchiha's privileges._

Sarutobi was reminded of the dynamics between his own students: Jiraiya and Orochimaru, "even your own sensei?" He asked on a hunch.

The boy stopped in mid-throw and shrugged, "its fine, and everybody loves the Uchiha. I wasn't really surprised when sensei loved the Uchiha too. Especially when he showed us that he had the Sharingan, it was just another little bonding moment between them. Just wished that Kakashi-sensei would've just discussed what I needed to improve. Sakura didn't care about the neglect, but I do. Dammit, I want to be Hokage, I wasn't joking when I said that!" Naruto sighed as he spun a shuriken around his finger, "I stopped caring long ago, so it doesn't matter anymore. I'll be a chunin as soon as possible and get out of everyone's hair; I don't need Kakashi anymore, I can improve on my own and he can have teme all to himself. And everybody will be one _happy little family_."

_Look at the Uchiha, talented boy he is, he will go far, perhaps even a Hokage. Who are his teammates? Not sure, a lucky girl from a civilian family, her parents must be ecstatic. They're hoping for marriage within a couple of years. His other teammate is that Kyuubi-boy. Oh, how unfortunate, how could the Sandaime do such a thing? Their sensei is the legendary Copy-nin. The one with the Sharingan? The very one. Look how well they match together and how much they have in common, background, geniuses, talented teachers; the Uchiha is in line to become the next Hokage!_

"I'm sure Kakashi-sensei likes you very much, Naruto-kun."

"Whatever." The blond snorted, "Doesn't show it."

Ibiki noticed the grey haired jounin flinch violently, making him wonder what the man was thinking. Was he guilty? Were his actions non-intentional? Did he not suspect Naruto's thought processes and conclusions? Was he not aware at all that Team Seven was never really a team to begin with? _Subject's team was a smoking bomb; the result was quite inevitable and obvious. _He saw Kakashi ghost his hands over his hitai-ate and wondered what he was thinking. Was he reliving memories?

_Even Sasuke can't match up to Hyuuga Neji, Naruto, to be frank, how can I expect you to beat him? Ebisu will be your guide to your chunin finals, this will be an excellent way to review your basics. I need to take Sasuke out of the village to train, you won't see much of me, I'm afraid. His opponent is too dangerous and I need to concentrate on him. Be quiet Naruto and watch Sasuke's fight with Gaara, you can learn a thing or two from him._

_Douchebags... _The blond genin narrowed his eyes at the unpleasant dialogues he had with his sensei… or non-sensei anymore, since Kakashi was never his sensei but only a sensei to teme._ Feh, they're both douchebags in their little douchebag heaven. _Sarutobi Hiruzen watched the different emotions flit across the genin's face with a hint of regret. This forcibly reminded him of the fallout that had happened to his own team: _Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Tsunade_…

Naruto moved to throw the shurikens before he froze again in thought, his face twisting together in a grimace. "Now that I think about it, Sasuke's closest person is probably sensei. They go well together, I'm sure, in every aspect of who they are. They deserve to be together."


	3. With the Intent to Kill

Note: Only one other fic explored this idea but that fic was cut short. I'm disappointed. Anyways, I took the fight scene from that fic- sadly, I forgot what the fic was titled. Drabble Format.

Plot Device: Team Seven kills Hatake Kakashi in the genin test. Nobody saw this coming.

Warnings: language, mild OOC, character death that's not taken seriously.

**With the Intent to Kill**

_1. Immediate Reaction_

"That's what he said. Can you blame us for taking him seriously?" Naruto crossed his arms defensively as the entire Konoha council directed all their attentions onto him, he shook Kakashi's orange book at them. He noticed some familiar faces in the crowd, probably Shikamaru's, Ino's, and Chouji's dads, Kiba's mom, some adults he had bumped into on the streets of Konoha. There were a couple ANBU standing at the shadows; one of them was transcribing the entire interrogation. On his right, Sakura was openly crying that she wanted her mom with her; a silver bell was tied in her hair. Naruto felt his lips curl in disgust as he inwardly scoffed, '_civilians.' _On his left, Sasuke sneered at the adults in the stands, his fingers wrapped tightly around the prized silver bells.

The light was blinding and he had to squint in order to look up at his audience but the contrast between the light and the dark made it impossible to decipher the faces that were not sitting in the closest row. '_Most likely, this is only the first of many meetings. But I know they can't accuse us of anything, everything we did was legal. If they accuse me, they'll be accusing Sasuke too and they can't say that I influenced them since the idea was Teme's in the first place."_

Naruto opened his arms wide in a gesturing movement, grinning with the intent to unsettle some of the weaker willed in the audience, "Hatake Kakashi said, '_I doubt you'll accomplish anything unless you come at me with the intent to kill._'"

_2. Sakura_

The chair was too big; it dwarfed her stature, making her seem young and weak. Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed, '_It's hard to believe that she was one of the elements that caused one of my best jounin's demise.'_ She squirmed in her seat, pushing back against the cushions, twitching in nervousness: her hands, her eyes, her body, her mouth. '_She's not even a ninja yet, nobody had promoted the team. She's too easy to read.'_ "Haruno-san," the Hokage ventured gently.

"Ho-Hokage-sama?" She stuttered back, shrinking in even more into the backside of the seat. When she turned her head, the light caught the reflection of her hitai-ate and the symbol of the leaf and spiral. It was irony and its finest.

This whole ordeal had been a mess from the very start. Umino Iruka had expressed his doubts of Hatake's ability as a teacher but Hiruzen had brushed off the young chunin's concerns, citing evidence of Kakashi's wish to not teach. That was, perhaps, his first mistake. But he didn't expect _this_ as the consequences- the jounin was a former ANBU captain, for Kami's sake, finishing S-ranked missions like he was breathing air. And to think that a group of green genins… not even genins… could… "I know that at the last meeting, Uzumaki Naruto spoke for both you and Uchiha Sasuke. But I need to know the circumstances from a different perspective. Can you give me your side of the story?"

She twiddled her thumbs and refused to look at him in the eye, instead focusing her interests in the elaborate sewn designs on the chair cushions. It took her a few minutes to summon the courage to begin speaking and when she did, he noted how weak her voice sounded, "I couldn't really do much but I'm good at acting. So I just had to pretend to be hurt and crying so I can distract Kakashi-sensei. Sasuke-kun had put some kunai in me to make it more believable and I put up a small genjutsu; Sasuke-kun said that as soon as the test is over, I can go to the hospital and the scars will disappear." She sniffed, "Sasuke-kun is wrong; I still have these little white lines on my back and arms- see?" She rolled up the sleeves of her pink dress and showed the vestiges of her wounds."

"Was this all Sasuke's idea?" The ease of how the Uchiha managed to manipulate the girl is quite unsettling though not unheard of in extreme cases. The girl hiccupped and nodded.

"Hatake-sensei had put in a genjutsu but they broke it. Sasuke-kun was leading the whole plan but Naruto-baka made little changes of his own and then…" She shrugged and shook her head, a silver bell that was tied in her hair ringed softly, "I had to hold Kakashi down until he triggered the trap. Naruto forced me to switch with one of his bunshins and then the bunshin exploded. Then other bunshins exploded. Then Sasuke unleashed his weapons. Then…" She tugged at her hair, "Didn't see: too much fire."

_3. We start_

"You're late!"

"Gomen nasai, I got lost on the road to life."

"…Liar!"

"Mah, mah, mah… Ah yes, where was I? Well, here is the genin test. Here, I have two silver bells- get the silver bells and you pass and I'll teach you. Don't get a silver bell and you'll get kicked back into the Academy and I'll eat your bento in front of you."

"That's why you wanted us not to eat!"

"Think of it as an incentive."

"That's all it takes to become a ninja? Haha! No problem! I'll get them before you can say 'Hokage!'"

"Naruto-baka, shut up!"

"Mmmhmm. Little weak genins like you? I doubt it."

"…What? I'm not weak! What are you implying!"

"What I'm saying is: I doubt you'll accomplish anything unless you come at me with the intent to kill."

_4. Naruto_

"Neh, jiji, they're not going… put me down like some sort of animal, right?" The boy said nervously, adjusting his hitai-ate. Following that question was an uneasy silence where as more time passed, the jinchuuriki grew more and more nervous. "Since, I hold the Kyuubi, the adults might think that it's my fault somehow and then they manage to pin something weird on me and the next thing I know: Bam! Prison, maximum sentence, three lifetimes, no parole."

"No, Naruto-kun. You aren't going to be in trouble." Sarutobi swallowed a lump in his throat, "We're just, ah, trying to find the next course of action." The boy minutely relaxed. "You must try to see the dilemma in our point of view."

"I know." He crossed his arms and nodded sagely, "I looked up Hatake Kakashi in the Bingo Book I nicked from Mizuki-sensei yesterday. He's an important person. I'm, uhh…" He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, unsure how to deal with this, "sorry? I mean, he told us we had to be tough and we did but then… this happens. I don't get it."

The Hokage momentarily experienced a sense of surrealism trying to comprehend the child's reactions to killing a man. Maybe Naruto hasn't fully accepted the fact yet, maybe he was in denial, maybe he already accepted the fact, or maybe he thought that this was a normal occurrence. It was all about perception. Haruno Sakura still didn't manage to wrap her mind around her actions, she was scared of being in trouble, but she couldn't even wrap her mind around the concept of 'trouble'. Hiruzen sighed. One minute, you're working through a tedious pile of paperwork wishing for some distractions. The next, there is an explosion that rocks the foundations of his building that came from Training Ground Seven. The next, you take a few ANBU with you to investigate only to find three genins, two of them holding a familiar silver bell and one holding onto a familiar orange book and the charred remains of someone the medics identified as his prized jounin. _Be careful of what you wish for._

Sarutobi chuckled mournfully. At least none of the other jounins had tests for their potential genins that were that… risky. If the test could ever be called risky; no one could have foreseen this. '_Oh Kakashi, surviving a war, the Kyuubi assault, and years of ANBU detail and you get felled by three little brats._' Most of the civilians had no idea what had happened but the news had spread through the gossiping ninjas like wildfire. People attempted to mourn but they weren't quite sure how. It was the epitome of black humor. There were rumors that when Iruka had heard of the news, he had choked on tempura from laughing but he survived. "Hey, jiji." The kid cheerfully piped up, "Do you want to have ramen with me later?"

Hiruzen smiled benignly at the young ninja and folded his hands neatly across his desk, "Naruto-kun, can you give me a detail event of what had happened that day?" The boy nodded happily, eager to be back in his surrogate grandfather's good graces. The first thing Naruto did was take an orange book from his back pocket and set it on the desk. The pages were well worn and there was the familiar censor-ship sign on the back cover.

_5. Desperation brings about the most extreme of versions._

"Ow!" Naruto plummeted to the ground when Sasuke sliced through the rope holding his feet up, "Couldn't have done it with a bit of a warning, could you, teme?" He demanded with tears in his eyes, rubbing his backside. There were going to be bruises there tomorrow.

"Idiot." Sasuke sneered back, twirling a kunai on his finger. His entire body was covered in dirt up to his neck. Kakashi must have done a number on him too. "None of us can defeat him on his own: he's a jounin. My father used to complain about him all the time; he knows one thousand jutsus and was an ANBU captain. We're only genins." The Uchiha took a deep breath and choked out the last words as if they offended his very being, "We have to work together." Naruto stared at the dark-haired boy before nodding slowly; the humiliation of the ease the man had in defeating him, and then topping it all with the cherry of sticking two fingers up his ass was still very, very fresh in his mind.

"Just this once, I'm going to be on your side. Don't think that this is going to be a habit, teme." Naruto stood up and brushed dust off of his jumpsuit, is tone was brusque, "We'll have to find Sakura." There was the noticeable lack of "chan" in his sentence. He crossed his hands together and five bunshins ran off in separate directions to find their third teammate.

"The weak fan girl?" Sasuke rolled his eyes, "What can she do that's useful?"

"…" Naruto shrugged, "She's another person that's on our side. It's like during battle when all you need are bodies, you know? She can be… bait or something." He blinked a couple of times, "Found her." He announced, "Follow me," and turned into the bushes, darting between the branches and crunchy leaves. Sasuke stared after the blond boy before shaking his head and reluctantly following.

They found said fan girl unconscious on the grass with froth coming out of her mouth. Naruto grimaced before trying to rouse her. "Weak," Sasuke muttered, kicking her in the sides. Naruto shot him a look, but didn't say anything as it seemed to have done the trick. Sakura's green eyes fluttered; Naruto immediately took two large steps back so that her line of vision was her savior. She leaped to her feet, lunged, and latched onto the Uchiha like a limpet. "Get off me."

"Sasuke-kun! You saved me! Thank you thank you thank you! I thought…" She was sobbing harshly, "I thought that you were dead!"

"Get off me," the tone was colder. This time, the girl listened and stepped back, her eyes still bright and glistening, there were some snot dripping down her nose. "Naruto and I are going to get the bells from Kakashi and you're going to help us."

"But…" Sakura replied, unsure, "There are only two bells. Kakashi-sensei said that only two will pass."

Naruto barked a laugh, "So what? We'll just make him pass all of us. Besides, I want to make him pay…" He grinned maliciously; Sakura stepped back once more, having never seen this side of the Dead Last. "Nobody does that to me and gets away with it."

Sasuke nodded, "Since none of us is willing to sacrifice for the other two, we'll have to force him to promote all of us. It won't be impossible. Now I have a plan: Naruto, I need your kage bunshins, a lot of them, possibly an army's worth."

Naruto tapped his lip as he thought, "So teme," he said in a conversationalist tone, "Remember when the Academy teachers taught us about the Kyuubi?"

_6. Sasuke_

"So I understand that the plan was your idea?" Sarutobi asked the child who was sitting across the desk. Sasuke nodded.

"Yes sir. But Naruto changed some parts of it; he added more details to trap Kakashi when we launch the final attack." Hiruzen nodded in comprehension. Yes, Naruto's touches to the plans might have made them more devious since strategizing was his strengths. Proof could be seen in his pranks which could never be prevented. "Then he revealed that he had a stash of homemade explosive seals, so we used those too." The Hokage's pipe dropped onto the desk.

"Naruto writes his own explosive tags?" He choked out.

The Uchiha shrugged like it was no big deal, like it wasn't a high chunin ability to write down a functioning explosive tag, "They detonated by his own pulse of chakra. I guess that's what the teachers got mad at him for whenever they yelled at him that he was 'doodling little designs on his tests' in class." The Uchiha's posture was slumped over, like a hissing cat unfamiliar with his surroundings, "I remember that day because after class, the classroom had exploded. I didn't really think about it until the Dobe… Naruto told me that he could make the tags."

The Hokage leaned back on his chair and paused to absorb the information. '_Well, it's not as if the Academy teachers expect their students to have the ability to make explosive tags, let alone test them of their art.'_ It was another tick on the list of how much he doesn't know about Naruto, despite spending the most time with him besides Umino Iruka. The list should be retitle to 'What everyone doesn't know about Naruto.'

"How do you feel, Sasuke?" The boy's head snapped up, his lips twitched. Sarutobi was reminded of yesterday, his son telling him of the pensive silence as they pondered over Kakashi's death in a local nin-bar. Asuma had described the atmosphere, relatively unsure, struggling to grasp the reality that someone had just died in the most strangest of ways possible. In the end, they all awkwardly clinked together their cups and downed their sakes.

"How do I feel? I killed a jounin… my teammates and I killed a jounin, legally." The Uchiha shrugged and held up a familiar looking silver bell and rang it twice, staring at his small reflection on the metallic surface. "It was his fault for toying with us and not taking us seriously until the very last second, but then it was too late. He underestimated us the entire time and the Dobe… Naruto… was really mad at him, furious, even." The twinkling sound was soft and sharp, high and low, "Well, I want to know. Am I a ninja now?"

_7. The procedure._

Kakashi stood in the middle of the clearing, thinking that he should give the little brats some time on their own to regroup and, hopefully, figure out the underneath of the underneath of the test that he had assigned them. He looked down at his _Icha Icha Paradisu_ and gave a small perverted giggle, reading the part where Kuro-chan had just decided to spread her legs to Yamatsu-kun who had just realized that his partner was a virgin. This part of the story even came with pictures! He'll give the brats four minutes before he begins to stalk them.

Each one of them gave a disappointing performance. Naruto had no sense of subtlety, though those masses of Kage Bunshins were useful, he didn't know how to use them because his Taijutsu was atrocious. A quick _One Thousand Years of Pain _quickly placed the blond out of commission. Sasuke held a bit more promise though he rushed headlong into things without thinking. He could possibly think two steps ahead of the enemy but not after that and he was arrogant to a fault, like most Uchihas. Sakura was the biggest disappointment, top kunoichi of the year his ass, she couldn't even block the simplest genjutsus and haven't, so far, demonstrated anything that might be of potential. '_Looks like it's be another trio back to the Academy, what a waste. I was actually hoping to train the Uchiha and sensei's son.'_ He sighed and flipped another page in his book. Kakashi looked up.

Small smoke bombs were thrown in his direction, it wasn't a problem for him though, and he could deal. He could hear Naruto begin screaming, many, many Narutos screaming in the trees and around him, high pitched and unfaltering. A clear pulse of chakra reached him; he could feel the explosions from the nearby trees and the earth shake beneath his feet. Cautiously, he placed his precious book back into his pocket, smiling as he thought, '_So they're taking this seriously, hmm?' _He heard another yell, this time, it was from Sasuke. He moved his feet, just barely dodging four kunai aimed at his toes- his own genin was testing him. After checking to make sure that his bells were still with him, Kakashi decided to wait and see what the brats were going to think up of next. Another pulse of chakra, this time with the faintest hints of Kyuubi's red chakra, led to more trees exploding. More smoke bombs went off, even when he attempted to blow away the smoke with a fuuton jutsu. His extended senses detected a small body on his right; he could hear the crying of a girl, Sakura.

"Aaauugghhh!" His eyes widened when he saw her state; her dress was torn in different places and she seemed to be favoring her left leg. "Kakashi-sensei! Help me! Please! Help me!" Blood was smeared across her face and arms and there were some shuriken lodged in her arms and legs and one kunai was stuck in her back. She stumbled his way through the smoke; her eyes were watering but wide with terror, "Naruto! He… Sasuke! He took!"

Another pulse of chakra, this time half red and half blue engulfed the area in a wave, more bombs exploded. Sakura screamed and sobbed. She clawed at his arms, crying and crying. He heard Naruto's laughter surrounding them and managed to catch a glimpse of a figure with a fox tail and ears. '_Impossible, how did the seal managed to break during a simple training exercise? Did Naruto exert too much chakra and lost control of the beast?' _He brought up a hand to pull up his hitai-ate, revealing a spinning Sharingan.

Pain in his stomach… Kakashi looked down and saw Sakura gutting him with a kunai, her hands were trembling but she pulled the kunai down, "Sa… Sakura? What…"

Sakura glared up at him and gritted her teeth and ripped out the offending weapon, "For Sasuke-kun."

Then Naruto and Sasuke replaced her with dual puffs of smoke, both grabbed onto him, unwilling to let him go. Naruto slapped a seal onto his forehead while Sasuke held his hands down; he could feel Sakura stabbing him through the Achilles tendon. He forced the chakra for a kawarimi but the jutsu didn't respond to him. '_Temporary chakra disrupting seal, Iruka might have handed some over to Naruto…'_ He saw Sakura pull off something from his belt and he could hear the dual ringing of the silver bells. Their strategy was admirable, dirty tricks and all. Everything was happening too quickly; he could only register the fact that he had been completely outmaneuvered. He shook Sasuke off and kicked Naruto in the stomach, but the damage was done. The last thing he saw was a flash of pink hair, Sasuke's unreadable gaze and Naruto's foxy grin as he put his hands together and overwhelmed him with a new pile of clones.

_I doubt you'll accomplish anything unless you come at me with the intent to kill._

Then an explosion ripped through him starting from his forehead all the way to his feet.


	4. The Network

Note: The idea, given by **nobody 102,** took off on its own. It might be different from what he/she was envisioning. Separated-parts-format.

Plot Device: Naruto and Jiraiya failed to bring Tsunade back, so Jiraiya was picked as Hokage. Well, _someone_ has to take up the mantle of the Spymaster...

Warnings: language, mild OOC, minor changes to the canon time line, fairly judicious use of italics

**The Network**

_The Brothel Law_

He wondered about the consequences of approaching the women loitering at the entrance of "The Lonely Shinobi," flashing lights, firecrackers, and paper lanterns hanging haphazardly off of telephone lines framing the complex. It was the third down on the list that Ero-Sennin had given him, written out in scratchy kanji and boxed three times ("_It means that it's important._") , little brown droplets of blood were below the words, from nosebleeds... that's gross. That's really gross. The women were scantily clad, covering enough that the police won't hassle them but leaving enough in the open that the clients know what the women, ahem, sell. Kami, this just brings back all the memories of his pre-Academy days of wandering the streets with the rest of the "trash." In fact, he found his mentality reverting back to that younger age, before he became as boisterous or as annoying, a personality that was a luxury to have, a personality that would mean a quick snub or a quick death.

Changing hands of leadership in this sort of job was a bit of a hazard in terms of stress and translation. If the informants don't respect the new head, then a little bit of the all-encompassing web is lost. If too much of the web is gone, the whole Network falls apart. And he was only thirteen, how the hell was he suppose garner respect, of all things? You give respect to those with wisdom, like Jiji, or those with power like, err, Kakashi-sensei, not him, not Naruto, the "Dead-Last." So far, the other brothels had (bemused) given him their word, which is the best he can get out of them, and the latest one had only given it to him after a lot of arm-pulling, henged Kage Bunshins, and "favors."

There's room for doubt. What power does a word give? He knows that his own word is strong and never failing: but of others? When it was so easy for a sensei to not be sensei anymore, so easy for a friend to turn traitor and stab you through the lung, for a ninja to take an extended leave years and years long, and when people try to coax a promise out of his mouth: well, they don't respect it too much either, right? Maybe that's why when Sakura-chan tried to pry a promise from him that he would bring Teme back to Konoha, he had paused. Maybe that's why Sakura-chan hates him, just that bit more.

He grimaced: the rejection Tsunade had given him had lowered his faith in himself more than he thought possible. If only he hadn't been set on mastering the Rasengan one-handed instead utilizing Kage Bunshins for a short-cut. If only Tsunade hadn't been killed by that Hebi-teme. He scratched the back of his head and looked again at the flamboyant building, trying to imagine what was going on beyond the walls... but decided not to. Spontaneous nosebleeds are an embarrassing thing.

Why prostitutes? Why whores? Why bordellos? If he had his way, he would be eliciting the assistance of ramen stands all over the world, not the red light districts. And then he can be friends with all the ramen owners, and help them in their recipes, maybe even help them with their customers, and hopefully get free samples of ramen all the time! Yeah yeah! That would be the bestest thing ever, dattebayo! But noooo, Ero-Sennin doesn't like ramen, he likes girls like Miko-chan and Tsubari-dono. "_Act cute, Naruto, it's the only way they'll listen to you. They're not horribly mean. But the thing with __women is that when they know that you don't know, they gain power._" He rubbed his face, groaned and took a moment to collect himself; after adopting his "beggar" look, he made his way over to the women, who quickly took notice of him and judged him where he stood, "Ano... I was sent by Jiraiya-san to look for Omi-san..."

_Naruto's People Skills_

"Well, somebody has to take the position," Jiraiya slyly said, steepling his fingers over the grand mahogany desk, "Jounins are too valuable to waste, the chunins are either neck deep in their own long-term assignments or not completely trustworthy. You, wee-brat, are to go to these places," cue scroll unrolling off the desk to the floor and reaching a couple feet shy of the windows, "find these people," cue unrolling another scroll, twice as long, "and talk with them. Written next to the names are the reasons of why they joined the Network, the things that make them tick." _ Talk? Talk about what? The weather? Your perverted habits? _"Oh ho ho ho! You're funny brat," Jiraiya threw his head back and laughed, "No, what I mean is: work your magic." _ My what? _ "Your people magic! It always works! You talk about determination and your nindo and all that business and boom!" Jiraiya clapped, "The Suna Jinchuuriki is your friend. Granted that it didn't work that one time when we were trying to get Tsunade, which landed me in this blasted mess to begin with."

This is possibly one of the worst ideas the Sannin has thought up, the throw-you-off-the-cliff not-with-standing. He doesn't like being sneaky and in the background. He wants to be loud, out in the open, like Sandaime-jiji, where people can see him and trust him, point him out to their fellows and whisper in awe, "That's Uzumaki, the most powerful ninja of all times! When I grow up, I wanna be just like him! I want him to be my friend!" Sure sure, he's good at being unnoticed: years of wearing his orange jumpsuit and still managing to pull off pranks and evading the aftermath of a high-speed chase containing ANBU and chunins does nothing but improve one's field tactics and stealth abilities.

His little silent, hidden in the shadows, stealthy persona and anything related to spying was discarded years ago for a reason. For this reason, he is furious and offended; he bits his tongue until it bleeds to prevent himself from throwing a fit.

_So why do you trust me? There's too much at stake!_ "You're people skills!" _My people skills don't work anymore, Ero-Sennin! You told me that!_ The silence that struck the room like a mallet told him that he spoke too soon. After a moment of thought, Jiraiya slowly took off his hat, if nothing else but to make a point: with that action, he aged a decade, "I'll be honest with you kid. You are the tenth down on the list to inherit the position. But nobody else fits. There's a sixty percent chance of failure, but you've been faced with greater odds. Your genin exam, for one, not to mention that the one testing you is Kakashi. Konoha is," the older man traced patterns on the desk as he gazed outside the window at the famed village, "weaker than what we make it to be, weaker than you think, we have to keep up the appearances. But manpower is down. I need at least a representative to keep them updated, to tell them to have faith. I would even send out another chunin with you, or another genin, but like I said. Our manpower is really, _really_ down. Simply put, at the hospital, Shizune is not her mentor, she'll have her own strengths but will never be like Tsunade." Naruto wilted under the gaze. _I can't. I wanna be Hokage... Come on, old man, you can't let me._

The two scrolls smacked him across the face, forcing him to step back, "Tough. When life throws you the curve-ball, you catch it... Things might have been different if Tsunade was the Godaime instead of me, but seriously, get over it. I couldn't see the future: I don't know if you'll be Hokage, I didn't know that you would be the next Spy-master. I can only hope that you'll be a good Spy-master. Hokage? Well, I'll put you on the list of candidates but you need to prove yourself. Look, this list, they're not all brothels, yeah, I went to a lot of brothels but that's my strength. You can set up contacts in an area of your own strength. But see here? There are normal households, retired nins, samurai dojos, restaurants, clubs, stores, fishermen, etc. Some I'm sure would be willing to teach you a bit of their jutsu repertoire: improve yourself, become self-reliant. Bottom line is I'm not your teacher anymore, I'm your leader. My hands are tied." The sun shined behind Naruto and lightened only his silhouette, hinting at another figure; the Godaime had to blink several times to make sure that he wasn't seeing a ghost before clearing his throat and saying gruffly, "make your village proud, brat."

With shaking hands, the genin took the two scrolls and rolled them back up, listening with half an ear to the other man who started delving into the details of the process of information transfer. One toad will always be at hand to assist and to keep Naruto out of sticky situations which would be inevitable due to his newbie status and naivety concerning the world outside of Konoha. Information will be transferred via code via toad, but information between the network will need another series of routing mechanisms. Jiraiya will send daily instructions on how to manage such a large group of intelligence and, hopefully, Naruto will grow into his position.

"The thing is that you need to be sent out of the village, to cool relations with the council regarding the Uchiha incident and to get the Akatsuki to concentrate on the other jinchuurikis. Konoha can't be a target at this time. If you keep moving at a pace where they can't pinpoint your location, you should be fine." Hell, if Jiraiya started from scratch, Naruto should have it easy. "I never foresaw this," the older nin whispered solemnly, noticing that when he placed the hat on the desk, Naruto's eyes never failed to follow, "I could only wish that the circumstances were better." After one last longing stare, Naruto walked out of the office and wouldn't be seen for a very, very long time.

_The Mole in the Akatsuki_

"_Kid, I'm telling you, forget about your teammate. If you don't listen to me on anything else, at least on this one thing, because it's seriously for your own good and not the village's. I can name off fifteen reasons why the relationship between you and the Uchiha wasn't healthy. Hell, I can name off seven reasons why your relationship with your team wasn't healthy. I might not hate the Sandaime as a person, but this is one of his methods that I really don't agree with. I'll be honest with you, the benefits do not outweigh the price, for me and for you. I learned that the hard way._"

After reading and rereading the note, Naruto crumpled it up and stuck it into his mouth and started chewing. (Urgh, this tasted worse than the lovechild of shinobi rations and hardtack, dattebayo.) How did Ero-Sennin manage to find out that he was incognito in Sound? Was it the Toads? The Toads, at least on paper, are suppose to be equally loyal to both co-signers, regardless of the conflict of interest. He wasn't really planning on fighting with Sasuke, not when he's a one-man power, up against an entire village of bloodline freaks and experiments... and Hebi-teme. He wasn't _that_ dumb. But Jiraiya's implied, "_I learned that the hard way" _made him wonder whether Orochimaru was the 'Sasuke' of his team; the parallels were beginning to creep him out. The Curse of Team Seven: it sounds pretty cool in his head.

Ok, fine. He admit that he was prodding Oto's defenses despite Gamakachi's insistence that he should not. But it was only a little bit, dattebayo! It was a couple of henged Bunshins to Teme's training area underground: just make up some comment about Orochimaru testing his student's limits then boom, carnage. Not only had Sasuke wiped the floor with him, but he had also aimed to kill, the head, the neck, the large veins, the organs, the vital regions, bringing a quick and painful death. With his Bunshins, he got a closer look at Sasuke's cursed seal and... Well, the realization wasn't pleasant. Teme wasn't his Teme anymore, he was the Snake's Teme. Naruto wasn't sure how he was going to explain this to Sakura-chan, if he ever saw her again. _Haha_, he snorted into his bowl of ramen, if he ever saw her again, Sakura-chan would hit him over the head and scold him, "Sasuke-kun wouldn't do that. How do you even know what you're saying? How can you give up on Sasuke-kun, our teammate, baka?" _Oh yes, how can I give him up when the entire village had already given him up._ Hopefully the rest of the Konoha twelve believed in him. Kami, he still gets nightmares of phantom pains around his chest, the patter of rain, and the chirping of a Thousand Birds.

Jiraiya had sent him a note a few months back, "_Your friends give you their inquiries. The back story is that you went on a training trip to Suna. Gaara is willing to back you up. Better make up some good stories when you get back._" Notes from Ero-Sennin, pardon, Hokage-sama, were short and concise, never with a bit of emotion placed between the lines. Naruto can grudgingly admit that he was one of the reasons why relations cooled drastically, between his resentment and his Hokage-leader-like-ruthlessness: well, this is from a man who was willing to throw him off a cliff for the chance of him tapping into the Kyuubi's power. Damn old man. Damn him. Still, that note is one of the only ones he had kept in his inner chest pocket, close to his heart, a proof of statement that his friends (they are his friends, right?) missed him and cared about him, even if they were two months late.

And time goes on: scrambling to meet the last of the contacts and to collect and to organize the information to be sent back to Konoha.

Yesterday, Jiraiya had sent him a note, "_Agent from the Akatsuki will be meeting you at 153.40:45.90 NW side, Daikon. Don't fuck this up._" He crumpled the note and ate it, chewing thoughtfully and swallowing as fast as he could (lovechild of rations and tack.). Akatsuki huh? Red Dawn? That group of SS class nins who were seeking the power of the Tailed Beasts. They were his most frustrating assignment yet, not only because his own ass was in danger, but also that it was so hard to pry anything relevant about them from anyone. The best that he had come up with were horror stories: the Aloe Vera Man, the Shark Man, the Paper Woman, the Man of Many Hearts, the Masked One, the Ten Tailed Beast, the Apocalypse etc.

"It is the harbinger of destruction," Takuma-san whispered, lounging on the sidewalk smoking opium, "They decimated a village simply because they refused to pay debts to the Man of Many Hearts and so the Undead took them in a ritual and... There are four survivors and all they could bring themselves to talk about is the amount of blood..."

"Yesterday, one of my girls had a client from Iwa." Both Naruto and Mother Kasumi studiously ignored the sounds of sex that was coming through the opposite wall, "He was a higher-up but a civilian and best of all, he had access to a whole shit-ton of news. Did you hear about their jinchuuriki? Not the important one but the lesser one? Apparently the Akatsuki got their hands on him, there was lava everywhere. Poor guy."

"And... and... Tami-chan told Yui-chan who told Saburou-kun who told me that the Masked Man wants kill all of us. 'N that's so baaad. He wants to kill _all of us_." Naoko-chan hiccuped over her fifth cup, "More sake please? Thanks. Anyways, what was I saying? Oh yeah, he wants to be, this Masked Man, he wants to... to be the Sage of Six Paths and create the moon and then destroy the world!" She flapped her arms about and squawked when she lost her balance. Naruto palmed his face. _Bringing down the Moon? What the fuck is all that about?_

Tsunami cleaned the dishes with practiced grace as Inari was whooping outside, playing ninja with his Bunshins, "Well, the sailors came back with a story of how two people were standing on the sea battling this sea monster." _Can you describe the people or the monster? _"Ehh, yeah, I tried asking them too. They said that the two people were in black capes with red? Not sure about the red part. The sea monster was a four legged, had scales, it was a giant walking among ants. ...What else was there? Father can fill you in with the details, he has an ear for distinguishing bragging and truth, seeing how he does it all the time. In fact, he might be with them right now at the bar." _I can visit them afterward if you can just point me the way. "_It's not too far. Oh yes, the monster looked like a turtle and it had three tails... Would you like to stay for dinner?"

Whatever he heard, outrageous rumors and all, he still reported back the Jirairya in huge masses of reports after reports, who, hopefully, can discern the babble without too much of a headache. It was his own fault though for ordering, "_Tell me everything. Nothing is too trivial. Nothing is too out there. Whatever you hear, just spit it out onto paper. You don't need to be organized about it. Just tell me everything._"

_Right, so this Agent... _Naruto finished the last of his ramen and ordered another bowl from the bewildered manager and cook as he anxiously waited for the mysterious person, who is held under code red, the only one of its kind: which meant that though Sandaime-jiji trusted him or her with his life, he is an unknown to Jiraiya. Through limited communication with the Agent, the genin learned that he or she had been contacting Jiji through Monkey summons, but when the Hokage hat switched hands, there had to be another face to face meeting for various purposes: face placement, proof of loyalty, papers, scrolls. _Code red. For all I know, it could be Hebi-teme secretly working for Konoha in a round-about, weird, secret way. _Naruto forcefully stopped his leg from bouncing. _Where is that guy? This is seriously important! _And the more he sits here looking like a blasted idiot, the more suspicious he looks. There were times in his career when his life was banked on whether or not he was standing five seconds too long in one spot. His hair (dyed brown) is going to turn as white as Kakashi's if he waits any longer! In fact, he ought to just give that damn Agent a piece of his- Someone tapped his left shoulder, he whirled around in agitation and anger before stopping on the balls of his feet, fist poised to hit... _No way. _His whole body screeched to a halt and his mind crashed.

The only thing he managed out of his mouth was a feeble squeak, but as long as he could speak, no matter the pitch, that would be OK, "Where were you? I know that I've switched the places but it was only across the street." There. Word for word: he held his breath.

"Sorry I was late. I was looking for a pet for a family member, preferably a bird, but I decided on fish because birds are expensive and not within my budget, and decided to go to other stores to look for better breeds." Naruto felt his mouth drop open. It took him five seconds to find the hinge to his jaw and then to stare in complete disbelief at the informant before he realized that he had heard the message and had to act accordingly. _No fucking way._ The informant, on the other hand, also had his eyebrows well within his hairline and probably thinking of the same thing. They were both dressed in incognito clothing, the type of clothing that blended well with a large group or a busy main street, where one is unrecognizable unless you knew what features you were looking for, unless you knew that there was someone under disguise.

Naruto swallowed harshly and took a deep breath. He handed over his half finished bowl of ramen after slipping a scroll inside (a beta Toad-summoning scroll, one used to only pass information between dimensions) and said with as much sympathy as he could muster, "I feel for you. Would you like some food?" The informant accepted the ramen bowl and the used pair of chopsticks and finished the meal. He took the scroll. How: Naruto has no idea: his best guess is that the other somehow swallowed it, lodged it in his esophagus, and deactivated his gag reflex.

When the Agent was finished, he dabbed his mouth lightly and handed back the bowl and the chopsticks. Inside the leftover murky soup, there was another scroll: a set of instructions on how to contact said Agent, on how to use the beta-Bird summoning scroll, and up to date information on the Akatsuki group. The meeting quickly ended and they went their separate ways. Every two minutes, Naruto gave himself a pat on the back for suppressing his own urge to scream in confusion to the high heavens. Considering that a year ago he would have had no qualms doing that, that just shows how far he had gone down this path.

But under that exterior, he was still the same Uzumaki Naruto, the same little boy whose mind is screaming in hysteria, running in a hysterical circle, hysterically tearing out chunks of his hair. _Ero-Sennin is going to shit bricks on this one... Uchiha Itachi? The fuck! Of all people? Why HIM? Jiji trusts a kin-slaughterer? Does that mean he didn't massacre his clan? Did he anyways? What's going on? That Uchiha Itachi? Uchiha Itachi? Fuck! What is wrong with this world?_

_Regarding Chigiri_

"_Ero-Sennin, it's a mess in these parts. There's a new Mizukage, a kunoichi named Mei, I think you might like her. Their government is about to fall apart from the riots. Their Sandaime was the three-tailed beast, the one that disappeared, the one that ordered the bloodline purges. But then some people are convinced that the Sandiame was controlled by another person, that he was a puppet-Hokage, and that mysterious person is way more powerful, way more older, way more dangerous, than what anybody can ever dream of. Story sources are from bars."_

"_There's so much corruption, money changing hands, body favors, forced body favors. I saw it all, in this one single village. People are disgusting. I don't like the world anymore, Ero-Sennin. At least I don't like this place."_

_Waiting for the Blue Man to Wake_

"_I think that after you left, people began to notice the loss of life in the village. The suicide rate has gone up amongst ANBU, I think you should take note of that if none of your friends think of you, at least ANBU do." _Which was, honestly, really assuring, dattebayo. One of his earliest memories was masked ninja singing him little ninja songs to sleep after they fed him, washed him, tucked him in and gave him Gama-chan, who was, at that time, an actual stuffed frog (Toad?) and not a wallet.

"Hush shinobi don't you cry. The bad guys will always die. It doesn't matter who, what, when, how or why but we're here to watch you through the night." Which was, as he thinks back to it, rather morbid, but disgustingly sweet. He finds himself singing the tune to himself when on cold nights when he's alone. He's always alone.

"_I digress. Your friends do miss you, I think. They've been hounding me for information, including your teacher. Well, I think that they came to realize that they know absolutely nothing about you. Curiosity is a funny thing, hmm?"_

Naruto leaned his back against the window-sill of the brothel, well away from the person knocked out cold on his bed. Naruto had picked him up on another rounds of his spontaneous trips to Oto to see how Teme is doing: Teme is getting scarier and scarier by each visit: he has less humanity than a jinchuuriki. The jinchuuriki wondered why Jiraiya never thought do some serious investigation into Rice Country, seeing that the underground labs are full of people who need to be saved and people who are willing to give a life's devotion for getting out of that hell hole. In this case, it was a guy around his age with a blue tint around his whole body which, according to the stolen notes, could be attributed to his Kekkei Genkai. Naruto only had to wait for Suigetsu (as the papers said) to stir and then he can give the speech that he had repeated in his head however many times. Not to mention that he had Zabuza's old sword, a bit rusted and worse for the wear but nothing the old shining can fix, as a nice bargaining chip. Suigetsu would be very weak from Hebi-teme's experimentation and would have to rely on Naruto to nurse back to full power.

Naruto slurped away at his bowl of ramen, a little something thoughtfully given by one of the girls who was on her break. So many contacts, so many "knowing people but not _knowing_ people," a lack of "precious people," he was loosing what little social skills he had started out with. Hanging around so many people of so diverse origins scattered through the continents: he has never felt more lonelier. Dead end job, mid life crisis, no friends, loose footed, all at an old age of fifteen: where are you going, Naruto? Where are you going?

He had to admit that this was not the life he was envisioning himself when he had first entered the Academy after begging day after day till his knees were rubbed raw from kneeling on the floor, "Hey, hey! Gramps! I wanna be ninja! Please! Please!" Years later, he had traveled the world and became world weary for it. From the many and many places and people he's met, he has picked up small skills here and there, leading him to a very patchwork set of knowledge of everything (master in nothing) and a strength in stealth and the ability to run out of that place between a rock and a hard place. At least his basics were solid...? That's more than the Academy can boast about. There were prostitutes and ramen stand owners, there were farmers and waitresses, there were shinobi and kunoichi, ranging from genin to jounin, all of them he met, bargained, and talked with. He learned about as much about weaponry as he did about the kunoichi arts and as much jutsu as he did about cooking and wild herbs and as much Taijutsu as he did now to negotiate.

There were people who in public he had to fight to the death with but behind the dark alley had to bandage up, lend chakra, and heal. At one instance, when Itachi and Kisame had him cornered, the Uchiha had trapped him in his Tsukuyomi where he had expressionlessly delivered the next scroll verbatim, taught him how to use the Bunshin Daibakuha, released him and gave him a means of escape. "We have seventy-two hours for you to realize that you're still acting like a child. You're living in a fantasy world. You need to come to terms with the fact that you, as a ninja, will be forced to make impossible decisions like this." Thank Kami that Fish-Face didn't suspect a thing and that he escaped with Samehada barely skinning his hairtips. That's life for Uzumaki Naruto: days of twiddling your thumbs and then a few seconds of sheer, unadulterated terror, dattebayo.

What's so frustrating is how much he has to hold back. And that's the crux of the matter isn't it? There are many ways a ninja can go for 'the top' because there are many different 'tops.' There was Ibiki as head Torturer, Shikamaru's dad as head Jounin, Kiba's uncle as head Hunter-nin, Hinata's dad as head of the Hyuuga clan, that creepy head ANBU guy with the bandages, on and on. Hokage isn't the only head but it's the most public. Naruto realized that taking Jiraiya's previous position as head of, whatever you call it, web of informants, that he would be his own top, and wouldn't have any way of backing out. Lord of the Spies doesn't exactly allow one to have time to get an ordinary promotion rank like, say, via the chunin exams. A genin Hokage: he would be OK with that but for the actual villagers? How's that for laughs? His chopsticks snapped in his hand. _I wanna be Hokage! I wanna! I wanna! I wanna! It's not fair! How am I gonna be Hokage now? _

Suigetsu stirred. There was no time for anything else. Naruto was stuck, trapped in a prison, shackled by his ankles. So yes, he was a genin, in charge of one of the largest spy-networks encompassing the Ninja World. Life is peachy, thank you.

_Between the Hokage and his Spy-master_

"_So I've been thinking. Nobody expected me to succeed, that's why everybody was always trying to bring me down and telling me all the time that I should give up. You're one of those people too, right? You forced me into this damn position. You know that I can't get out of it. You know that as long as I'm here, and you're there, I'll never achieve my dream."_

"_Kid, there is no conspiracy."_

"_Then why am I on the need to know basis? Why was there so much sabotage and sabotage and neglect. Did you know that jounins expect that their genins should know how to tree-walk in the first month of training? You know that. Did you know that Iwa nins know me more than I do? When I was captured, they talked about so many things, expecting me to follow their conversation, and then they learned that I didn't understand, and then they started laughing, because everybody has been keeping me in the dark! Kazama Arashi? Chakra chains? Akai Chishio no Habanero? What does Kakashi-sensei have to do with this? Is he part of this whole mess, under-the-rug conspiracy, too? Ero-Sennin, who do I look like? What do you see when you see me? Tell me the truth!"_

What Jiraiya sent back was a scroll detailing heritage of Uzumaki Kushina of the Uzumaki Clan and circled the bottom line which stated that she had a union with Namikaze Minato, Konoha's Yellow Flash. Things began to add up. _"Neh, Ero-Sennin. He's my dad, isn't he?_

_It is kind of funny that he's my dad, and I didn't know, and I always wanted to know that I was born from somebody human. So many people told me that I was the lovechild of a harlot and a demon, did you know that? Yet, I see his face everyday from my window and everyday he stares back at me. I was so close to family but I didn't know. Did you know that after I found out about the Kyuubi in me, that I hated him for a really long time? And he's my dad! There's irony, dattebayo! Why didn't anybody tell me?"_

"_Naruto: your father had many enemies after the Third Shinobi War, enemies that made us fear for your safety. You were a baby and there would've been so many hardened nins after your blood. We thought that it would be best if you took your mother's surname instead of his."_

"_Well, that's useless now isn't it? One look at me and they knew everything. It's better than what I can do."_

_Correspondence from Suna_

Days of pattering around the sand dunes only resulted in one letter. "_Ero-Sennin: I smell carrion, it's somewhere here, I just don't know where. The sandstorms are wrecking my senses because I think I smell bomb-powder too. Jinta-san brought me here with his caravan, said that there were reports of two people, a redhead and his girlfriend, a blonde, riding on a sort of bird like flying machine, blowing up stuff. Will keep you updated."_

Days later, Gamatachi sent back a missive. _"Brat, we got a distress signal from Sunakagure. Something happened to the Kazekage. I'm sending out your old friends and some jounin. Meanwhile, try to help them but keep hidden, I understand if you can't, but try. The redhead is Akasuna no Sasori. I'll have Gamatachi send you a Bingo Book, think it's high time you start using it."_

"_Never mind. The blond is a man with a seriously weird verbal tick." _Naruto scribbled down as he hid behind a boulder as another explosion caused the ground to vibrate and the sand to rise momentarily into the air. Naruto closed his eyes.

"It's your fault that Gaara's dead! You were responsible for the entire thing, datteba- Nnnrrgghhh! You sealed Shukaku into Gaara and you raised Sasori into the man he was: you did everything and expected everything. But then you saw the consequences of your actions and expected nothing. But you know what? Things didn't turn out the way you want because life throws curve balls at us. While one man fell into the deeper parts of his own mind, his own lonely sewage chamber with only himself to talk to, the other managed to overcome who he was, rise above his expectations, and become Kazekage. Let me tell you this, Gaara's success sure as hell did not come from you, Chiyo-baasama. Gaara was stronger to leave his past behind and to look forwards, to always look forward! The only way to live is to look forward! Gaara looked forward; he is more ninja than you will ever be." His own words echoed in his head, those words that he had spat at the old lady. He winced: that was probably a bit too harsh but damn it, a friend is dead, he had the right to blow up, at least once.

"He is dead, brat!" The old kunoichi had snapped back.

"He had a nindo!" Naruto had howled. _You can't stop me! His memory will live on in me! From one jinchuuriki to another, believe it! _Arguments between him and the esteemed advisor of Suna often blew out of control. Temari often had to act as a mediator and pull them apart.

"_I managed to disable Sasori temporarily with that Odama Rasengan and take Kankuro back to Sunakagure, he looks to be in bad shape. I hope that you brought a medic from Konoha with you because I have no idea about poison extraction of any kind. I henged into another Suna-nin when the Konoha-nins were here: Temari, Gaara's sister, provided a cover for me. My name is Uzuki Haido."_

One of the hardest things to do while in the presence of his old teammate, sensei, and friends was to tone down his exclamations of excitement. He had to resist hugging them and crying from the sheer emotion that started to spill out of himself. He wasn't Naruto, Naruto is on a long training trip. They've never met him before. Uzuki Haido is a nice tokubetsu jounin with an Iruka-like disposition and a hearing problem.

"_Sasori was destroyed with the help of a judicious use of the fox's chakra which literally ate through his first body. He still had a heart in him that wanted to hug his parents, even though they were as dead as he is and he knew that they would stab his heart. Deidara, bomb-man, managed to escape. But he lost an arm to Kakashi."_

Naruto finished his scrawled message, admiring the fact that his handwriting seemed to be improving the more he practiced. He rolled the scroll up and was about to prick his finger to summon a lesser toad when the door to his room opened. It was Chiyo-baasama. He waved cheerfully, "Yo, small-granny. Do you need anything?" He watched with open-eyed curiosity as the small old woman took her time to observe his spartan room, with no true decoration but a single plant native to Konoha. The advisor paced and sighed in parts, before reaching into her robes and pulling out a small photo. He wasn't sure what meaning it gave for her nor who was on it, but seemed to lend her some invisible strength as she straightened up and finally faced him

"We don't always see eye to eye, young man, but I do acknowledge mistakes that I have made in my many years. And I... have many regrets."

Naruto's face fell, "I didn't mean it like that, Baa-chan," and promptly got slapped across the face for his disrespect; the attack was half-hearted, "I mean, we changed, we got better. Konoha and Suna aren't just allies, we're friends, friends from blood, from understanding. And then there comes a time when we realize that we're not so different, you and I, dattebayo."

Chiyo pocketed her photo and coughed, waving off the genin's offer of assistance, "Yes, yes, don't treat me like an old lady. We're not so different are we? The Sand Village and Konoha: their future will be different than the way things were back in my day. And I only see it now," she murmured the last words to herself, "So foolish." She looked up with renewed determination, "Tell me, young shinobi, what do you think when you hear the words, 'Kisho Tensai'?"

"_Kid, I want to extend a thanks to you for saving the Kazekage. I've enclosed some money and order you to take a break. Think of it like a mission. You need some rest or else you'll shatter. You've been lucky so far, to not loose your precious people to death, but I want to warn you of things to come. It will get worse. You still have a long way to go."_

_Accusations_

"_If the Yondaime was my dad, and you were his teacher, what are you to me? A real grandpa?"_

"_Your godfather. He named you after a hero from one of my novels. They're not perverted, breathe. It's called "The Gutsy Ninja," I don't think you've heard of it. It was before my fame."_

"_If your my godfather. How come you never visited? Or wrote? Why didn't I even know that I had a godfather? When we met, why didn't you tell me that you were my godfather?"_

The next day after no response, Naruto penned another letter. _"Hey! Ero-Sennin! Stop ignoring me! Is it the way I look? Like those Iwa-nins? When you see me, do you see dad? Do you see me or dad? Or just dad? Was it always dad? Is that why you can never look at me in the eye? It's always at that space in between, like my forehead or nose, never at me, because you don't see me. You don't see me. You never saw me! Fuck you! You're just like the others! They never see me too! A monster, a demon, a lowlife, a bad memory, a ghost, anything but me! I'm Uzumaki Naruto! Look at me!"_

The next day after no response, Naruto penned another letter. "_You coward! You don't deserve to be Hokage! A Hokage is never haunted, a Hokage faces his fears and overcomes them. Your burden needs to be removed before I'll ever even think about respecting you! I hate you!"_

_Update_

"_Hey, Ero-Sennin. After Itachi gave me that super weird, gay-ish visit where he forced crows down my throat (think it was a genjutsu...) I lost contact with him but found his body by a cottage via crow, I'm trying to decide the coordinates. He had a fight with his little brother. I think he let Teme win, big brother love and all. The masked man from the Akatsuki is another Uchiha, Uchiha Madara. I thought that he was suppose to be dead. His eye is really weird and the Kyuubi doesn't like it either. Madara spotted me and sent Teme after me but I managed to escape by the skin my teeth. Stupid curse seal. I love Kage Bunshins, I will never regret stealing that scroll. Do you have a recipe for creams to treat burns? Like, chakra fire burns generated by the Sharingan? I have third degree all over the place, I would be dead if it wasn't for the fox, though the wounds aren't healing. It hurts a lot. I wish that there's a medic here. I don't want to die alone and I might die, because they're chakra fire and strange weird kinjutsus like summoning skull men and beasts. Sasuke got a bit of Itachi's eyes, though I have the other bits. I think Teme is an S-class nin right now."_

Two weeks later, Naruto penned a letter. _"I'm OK now Ero-Sennin. Are you there? You can reply, you know? I'm not mad at you anymore. We can pretend that it never happened."_

_Jiraiya's Confession_

"_Kid, you have no idea how long it's taken for me to write this. I spent days and nights agonizing over the words, how to describe myself exactly, how to explain myself to you, because in the end, you got the brunt of it. I want to say sorry, but I don't know if that's enough. You weren't just an orphan like I was, you were a hated orphan, that... I've never experienced that in my youth. I guess my fault is that I need to escape from my mistakes. Looking at my mistakes and trying to fix them in my head are two different things. I can set up the Network and travel the world but I couldn't ever visit Orochimaru in Sound. Likewise, I couldn't bear looking after you and thought that anything would be better than me looking after you because I was sure that my feelings, my own resentment would bleed through. You look like your father in every way, from the air to the face to the eyes. It's always been the eyes. You have your mother's personality, her liveliness, her verbal tick, which was, coincidentally, "Dattebane." They were a wonderful couple, both strong and brave, embodying the Will of Fire, hero and heroine in their own right. The village was proud of them."_

"_They would be proud of you. You are their son. I admit, I see Minato in you all the time and I can't help it sometimes. My mind betrays. But you are yourself, please don't think otherwise. You are unique and a good ninja, a great ninja."_

"_I just wish... I wish that circumstances were different. That we got to know each other better and maybe develop a bond. I know you're alone, it comes with the job description, but you shouldn't go through that. I understand. But you are Uzumaki Naruto, not Namikaze Minato, not the demon, not the monster. I am proud of you."_

The next day at the crack of dawn, a Toad the size of a stool wakes up Naruto and croaks "he's dead."

Naruto squinted at the trespasser, "What? ...Who?" A part of himself grew cold, that part of his had the premonition of whom the Toad was referring to.

"Jiraiya-sama. He has passed away, we Toads sense the movement of his soul into the next life. He is gone."

_Aftermath_

It all boils down to the Akatsuki and Jiraiya's executioner, Pein. But even Naruto was mature enough to know that Pein was only the tip of the iceberg. There was so many other elements riding on the fate of the world: life, death, resurrection... jinchuurikis, black flames, white fire... Sharingans, Rinnegans, the Moon. Too much was banking on him. He was the only one who knew everything.

Kakuzu was dead by his hand, dattebayo. He himself was suffering from near fatal wounds, it was about as bad as when Sasuke punched that hole into his chest. The original self appointed mission which was to head back to Konoha to report himself to the next Rokudaime (because he might as well eat his left arm before thinking about taking the hat) was driven into a detour by the ambush from the missing-nin. Thank Kami he was so severely underestimated in terms of skill. It was only yesterday that he mastered the Rasenshuriken.

_Rest in peace, Ero-Sennin. I hope that your heaven is filled with women with huge chests._

The gate guards he could vaguely recognize from his first stint at the chunin exams. They had instantly recognized him and had shouted exclamations and orders, bringing around him a flurry of activity that he couldn't discern. He was too tired to listen and too tired to identify faces that were all rushing at him. ANBU appeared, white masks and black cloaks and followed that was a man wearing the Hokage hat. Despite the hat covering most of his visage, Naruto could still at least identify the tell-tale signs of bandages and the limp, "Aww fuck," he muttered, "You're the Rokudaime? Who the hell chose you?"

Danzo replied with words that he didn't listen to as he was too busy scrunching up his face and recalling the phrase which he spoke deliberately even as he was manhandled by the ANBU guards, "The Networking web has returned to the fire, shall we wait for your verdict of either to burn or to proceed?" Damn Jiraiya for thinking up of something this convoluted.

Danzo froze, "What did you say?" His question was muffled, underwater, he might have ruptured eardrums... Naruto squinted in confusion, did he get the exact pattern wrong?

Again, he repeated, "The Networking web has returned to the fire, shall we wait for your verdict of either to burn or to proceed?" And for safe measure, because he knew that the man trusted him less than a baby could throw him, he added the safe-measure, "Our roots were deeper than what others had assumed. It is the only way we can have fruitful leaves. Uzumaki Naruto, genin 012607, reporting from mission SS-class long term A19O turn SS42 to receive the new Hokage, code orange."

Danzo raised a hand, Naruto was released. Naruto leaned over and coughed out blood and straightened, squinting at the blurry figures of the crowd around him (was that pink? Man, his concussion must really be bad) whispering and pointing in hushed amazement. "Report, genin."

Naruto swayed on his feet, "Akatsuki is coming, Pein and all his bodies. Read the scrolls of the compartment in the compartment. The assault isn't for me anymore, it's also because you defied him. Don't try to negotiate, they won't listen. In fact," his smile was bloody ("You swallow a pint of blood before throwing up") "prepare for a Shinobi World War. It's inevitable." Naruto sways back, his eyes rolling into the back of his head, fell to the ground and didn't get back up.


	5. Meet Konoha

Note: The idea festered around for years; I thought that personification was a super original idea. And then I choked on my orange when I heard of Hetalia and lamented on a plot device that is now well used. This might be how Suzanne Collins felt after hearing about _Battle Royale__: _maybe.

Additionally, I wanted to note how Naruto knows that Mizu obtained the Byakugan and told Danzo, the Rokudaime, leading to a whole lot more stuff going on, but I got lazy...

Plot Device: Konoha lives in Naruto.

Warnings: AU, unBetaed

**Meet Konoha**

_Kakashi knows that whatever Naruto is,_

Kakashi knows that Naruto had at least two predecessors. The first was Ichiraku Teuchi's civilian grandfather who was a hotspot amongst ninja leaders as a source of conventional wisdom and moral compass. Hatake Sakumo had carried Kakashi to the ramen stand to the aging man and whispered to his son to start looking "underneath the underneath," which soon gave rise to the unofficial motto of the Hatake clan. The second was Uzumaki Kushina who as soon as she stepped foot in the village, claimed herself to be the rival of Namikaze Minato which as far as Kakashi cared to observe, meant that she pounded him to the ground with fuuinjutsu until he retailiated with the same amount of fuuinjustu mastery. The third was their darling, hellion offspring, Uzumaki Naruto, who in his beginning years, effortlessly evaded ANBU by navigating the streets with the knowledge of one who had designed the village.

The obvious signs were there if only one knew where to look. All three of them had (eventually in Naruto's case) the ability to _communicate _with people... normal people, people that don't embody an entire village. Nowadays, people call it the Naruto Effect or the Chiryo no Jutsu, but it never really limited to just Naruto. And Kakashi, will all his lauded genius and shinobi skills, was at a loss of how to treat someone like Naruto. Was he suppose to teach him? Was he suppose to not even interact with the boy and let the business of Konoha run it's course? The jounin had power at his disposal in the form of a genin who is obligated to obey the wishes of his sensei, but Kakashi would rather not use it: power corrupts and all that. Danzo would be a perfect example. Instead, every three days, Kakashi arrives at the boy's shabby apartment with an eye-smile and a large basket of fruits and vegetables.

Did anyone else even have the vague inkling? No. The Nara heir probably knew that something strange was going on and could pinpoint the inconsistencies, but trying to make the jump between "Naruto was only ever sick after the Chunin invasion and the Pein invasion" to "Naruto is Konoha" requires too many heuristics. Maybe Iruka knew since he manned the mission desk and was seen around the boy and could easily draw a pattern between types of missions and the feral element of Naruto's moods. Danzo, with his eyes everywhere, probably had a suspicion. But other than Kakashi, who knew from a fortunate series of circumstances (most of them compounded from Kushina's wrath), there just wasn't anyone else.

_Madara, for all his years, could not learn but only fear_

_The Sharingan was always bit of a double edged sword, like the Byakugan and it's little inner strife and politics, like the Creation Rebirth and it's aging factor, like the Rasenshurinken and it's destructive backlash, like all of his best techniques, really. Did Madara-teme ever fear him? _But that thought quickly perished at the sounds of Kiba and Ino's mocking laughter when he realized that he had been thinking out loud. After quelling down their snorts and giggles, the duo hastily reassured him that he was anything but frightening and then Ino gave him a big hug. The rest of the Konoha Twelve were also trying to hide their chuckling. But some people who were within earshot, the people who's opinion he vaguely valued, either kept silent or smiled stiffly.

Of them, Asuma-sensei still remembered the young blond boy in the gray crowd with the all-knowing, crazed glare and the enigmatic smile, able to stand out in primary shades of color but at the same time blend in till one couldn't see him unless one knew what to look for. Kurenai-sensei' can recall a vision of a boy staring at his own last assassination attempt with a eerily blank face, not even blinking when the ANBU rose from the corner to slowly, ever so slowly, suffocate the killer with shadows. The next day, ANBU rooster hung up his mask and took a part time job at the Academy until he spilled his coffee onto a coworker as he stared in horror at a boisterous, blond nuisance laughing obnoxiously as he raced down the halls with a bucket of paint in his hands and Umino Iruka dogging his heels. Then Nara-sensei promptly retired from the shinobi career altogether. The boy had stared straight, seeing right through, seeing nothing, feeling nothing. And Kakashi-sensei, the man who was still reading his porn? No answers were ever forthcoming. Well, trying to pry any information out of any Hatake was once likened to trying to convert Jiraiya into monk-hood. Notice how all three belonged in the age group where his secret became common knowledge. To any ninja who the Third's law applied to...

"_I swear that kid isn't normal. You got to admit that the Fourth was a genius at seals and that the kitsune hasn't shown itself yet but. Kami, I know that the kid didn't have the best upbringing but he's beyond fucked, you know? Seriously, look at him, just look at him. And you see that? Look away before he stares too long like, like, he knows. I don't know what he knows: how my sister tasted like on that day? Or, no, he knows more than that. It's not human at all, nobody normal would EVER-"_

Eyes were half lidded, the blue eyes were slitted and tinted red around the iris edges but blue still dominated, the whisker marks would darken on some days and lighten up on others, corresponding to the suicide rate immediately following the Kyuubi attack. He often casually walks into the training grounds that held it's own forest ecosystems and venture into the heart of the jungle, and would sit on a rotten, mossy log, and sit there for hours and hours and hours and maybe even days until Jiji grew worried and sent out his people. His other haunt was at the park by the swings, idly kicking his legs back and forth and back and forth, watching the other kids play, watching.

Of course there were people still bitter about his existence, but he never had problems with Konoha people. If any of the adults came up to him with the intention of doing harm, he would give the perpetrator a final look of warning where his eyes flashed this unholy gleam as if daring the man or woman to _try_. Sometimes, the person didn't heed the warning and got a week of bad luck, or a month, maybe even a year, depending on the crime. _Did you dislocate your shoulder again? You didn't tell little Miki-chan that the pond had parasites in it? Her father is on warpath, careful there. Food went bad within a couple of hours? People can't seem to tolerate you anymore? The kunai almost nicked your carotid artery? _ _Nobody believes you? _And still, while some people got smarter, others were too dumb to learn the lesson and repeated the mistake. _They die alone._ And it's a wonder why so many parents, ninjas and civilians alike, told their children not to associate with the likes of him.

There are echoes in the trees from the times of the Shodaime that only he can hear. When he hears, he knows on an instinctual level, and he can see and there's understanding. The insight comes in a way of a surge of information, some more relevant than others, that he just _knows_. One look and he can tell you everything about yourself public and private and even some things that you don't know about yourself.

But that was back then. He likes to think that he's a bit more normal as they come.

_For Anyone Else,_

Naruto is always there: he was Konoha the moment Kurama was sealed into him and the moment Kushina breathed her last. The instinct of all the past personifications area all stored into his brain, causing him to perceive differently from the world. The Kyuubi views him with as much interest as one does to an annoying fly and that's all the best he can get out of him but at least the Kyuubi has staved off his desire to eat him, grumbling that village spirits do not taste as good as the succulent flesh of humans.

If people thought that Sai was a bad case of walking social faux-pas, they should've seen Naruto before his third year repeated at the Academy, before people started noticing what an annoyance he was. It wasn't the made up sexual nicknames or had a creepy smile that... no wait, he did have a creepy smile, it fitted onto a face of a small, whiskered, silent, nearly emaciated blond child with an all too knowing stare that reminded too many people equal parts of the Yondaime and the fox. He had a tendency to not care: to not care about the masked people following him around, to not care about his deplorable health or the people that caused it or the people that further sought from him emotional, mental, and physical harm. He didn't really bother to find out his origins nor who his birth parents were: for all intents and purposes, Kiba might've been correct, that he had sprung up from the ground one day from a shrine of Inari. The only person he liked at that time was Jiji, no matter if anyone else was nice to him, he couldn't extend the respect to others. If Jiji signed him up for classes, he went. If Jiji told him to be polite, he would thank Teuchi and Ayame for the ramen. If Jiji told him to eat healthy, then he would start picking at the assortments that Dog left at his doorstep every three days. "Stunted" was a nice and delicate way to phrase it.

Some of his fellow genins were confused when Team Gai confessed to not noticing his presence at the Academy though the rosters had "Uzumaki" on them (not Uzumaki Naruto, just Uzumaki) but it's hard to make a connection when one doesn't know that a connection was there to begin with. It makes it even harder to find the connection of one who thrives to hide in plain sight, only deigning people to notice him when it suits his fancy.

His identity came to him in a series of visions and feelings: after he failed the genin exams for the second time on the eve of October 10th as he was hidden in an underground bunker waiting out the series of celebrations and riots. Bored as ever, he was picking the dirt under his nails and scratching his skin so with claws so sharp and force so hard that his skin nearly bled. Dog was his silent companion for the night, having already brought his orange book and a sewing kit for clothes repairs. Once, Dog tried to stop him from self harm by burying him neck deep into the ground, but he had easily escaped. Then Dog tried to distract him by giving him the sewing kit and a piece of cloth and tried to teach him the art of embroidery but that came to a screeching halt when he began stabbing himself. October tenth was a day where the skies bled hatred, so much hatred, so much searching for that one demon. It was a day that he's more vulnerable to emotions than any other day. It might be because it's his birthday. And on that particular day, as he listened to Dog's breathing, detectable only because Dog didn't want to startle him, he slowly curled up, knees to his chest, and fell asleep.

His first vision was a woman in chains with blood red hair so long that it pooled at her feet hanging off a seal tied to a the bars of a darkened cage. She told him that she never wished the burden upon his shoulders, especially not with the label of a jinchuuriki on his stomach; but unfortunately, curses begets curses and this was the way of things. She added as a side note that he should learn how to function normally as an everyday person, if not but to not attract the wrong attention and that he should know what she means because she knows. Dattebane. His second vision was someone's first memory, his own first inception. He was born from the ground, inseminated with human hopes for another sanctuary for ninjas and civilians, hidden in the leaves. He looked up sleepily and breathed in the crisp air from the fall and quickly chose the most suitable living host available and inserted himself into the conscious. Before him were two noble men who he greeted with the slight inclination of the head, "Uchiha and Senju." The two men surveyed his appearance and wordlessly bowed, ninety degrees at the waist. His third vision dived deep into the ground of Konoha until he could feel the vitality of the soil, the underground passages, an abandoned laboratory and a still working training facility, and then shot upwards, higher and higher, until he saw the people on the streets, the families in their houses, the clans in their compounds, the shadows on the rooftops and the stars and clouds and that lone moon hosting the ever sleeping Juubi.

Uzumaki Naruto wakes up with a start, turns to his side, and violently pukes.

The next day he was called into the Hokage's office with some news pertaining to the re-enlistment to the Academy. The room smelled of year old scrolls and layers of dust, enough to make his nose wrinkle in disgust. "Go back again?" He nonplussed asked Jiji, "But that will be my third time. Three times is a lot of times. No one redoes the Academy for a third time." He held up three fingers as emphasis.

"Hai, Naruto-kun," the old man behind the desk patiently replied, fingers laced together, pressing so tightly together that they were almost white. It made him curious as to what was agitating the other. Maybe the council will blow up if he refuses to return to school? Maybe it had to do with that sketchy looking old man with the bandages?

"But what if I don't want to? I'll have the Will of Fire, honestly I do, but I don't want blood or body bits on my hands." He folded his arms and pouted, "Ao-kun has too much blood and look how he ended up, dattebayo. Killing them special people left and right." He could hear Dog groan behind him and start a rapid fire silent communication with Jiji via hand signals. Whatever Dog said eased the ki atmosphere around Jiji. Naruto's own ignorance of the exchange made him sigh in frustration: it would be another month or so before he can clearly read into an individual's intentions. For now, he's been idly scratching the surface of human thought. He tapped his feet on the ground impatiently, blew his bangs upwards, and announced proudly, "If I don't go to the Academy, I will keep gardening. I love gardening. Gardening is the heart of Konoha. It builds the bottom up and I can fix the damages that you don't see. Nature loves green."

"But in order to do so, Konoha must stand." The Sandaime offered a rebuttal, "You have a great potential to protect Konoha."

"I can protect myself," He replied stubbornly.

"But how about the people around you? A village is it's people, yes?" Jiji waved a hand at the bay windows behind him.

"But what if I don't like the people? What if I don't think that they deserve protecting?"

Dog coughed behind him but offered no further comment. "They may not be the best people around, but they breath the life into a village, and that is what makes what you see here." As he spoke, Jiji's face, overshadowed by his ridiculously huge hat, fell, "I'm a bit disappointed in them too, but I've tried my best in my power for your benefit but even then I still underestimated the power of memory. There's a human element in everything and it can bring insurmountable success and cataclysmic disasters. You have to be aware of it to appreciate it's influence: the good and the bad. For the good, the human element is capable of building and protecting. I'm not apologizing on their behalf because I'm unable to do so. I would ask, no, beg, for you to forgive them, but I'm not quite sure if you're capable. I'm not saying that you can't start building, but we've been fixing since ten years ago and it won't be the best for you, not for what you are made of. What I'm suggesting is that you are better at the latter. Take pride in your strong points."

Jiji had the patience of a monk. Naruto was fully aware of how much of an obnoxious brat he was being and how much punishment he deserved for questioning the decisions of a Kage that was not given for the sole reason of his own... unique label. Still, he kept pushing. Even his inclination to listen to Jiji's words weren't enough for this big step in his life and he would rather not be sucked into anything against his will at any stage of his life. "So the Academy will allow me to be able to protect? Is that really what being a ninja means?" He asked dubiously, fully aware that they were speaking circles around delicate topics.

Jiji smiled benevolently. "Outsiders believe that our pacifist tendencies makes us weak, but what they don't know is that if provoked, we will stand and protect. Our skills amplify to thousand folds in order to save our loved ones, to guard our livelihood that we spent generations to cultivate. Our loyalty gives us strength. That is the Will of Fire." There was a significant pause so silent that he could hear soft breathing and the birds beyond the window and the bustle of the people far below the tower. Even though he knew that the old man had avoided the topic completely, Naruto still felt appreciative goosebumps crawling down his arms from the declaration of true passion, "Forgive me for my ambitions. What I had envisioned for you to be is the strongest ninja there is, Naruto-kun, the biggest protector."

"...But that's your job." He casually pointed out.

"I wish for you to be the same."

Naruto blinked twice in surprise. "So," He slowly drawled out, the gears running about in his head. "You want me to be Hokage?" He stuck his pinky in his ear in an attempt to clear his hearing.

Jiji opened his mouth and closed it again. He tried to imagine what was going on in such a complicated mind. _ It wasn't that Jiji didn't want him to become Hokage, but that the heart of the matter, the principle and the spirit of his wishes weren't that specific but can be subjected to personal interpretation. It was, pushing it through the Occam's razor, a wish to do one's best for the greater good. A self application to one's strengths is a noble deed indeed. But the aspirations of such a public role such as a Kage can suggest many complications for someone of his... caliber. Alas, if only the naïve boy could read underneath the underneath! They could come across to a mutual understanding! But things must be said to make that point. I am sorry, Naruto-kun. _Finally, the Hokage came to a shaky conclusion, "If that is what it means to you."

"If you really, really, really want that, I can do that." Stressing the words, Naruto slowly uncrossed his arms and left them hanging at his sides. Since Jiji was the Hokage and Konoha embodies the Hokage's needs much more closely than wants.

"I do."

The words were spoken with such resignation, it was almost as if Jiji felt guilty of condemning him to... something. In a way it was true as those words do hold power over him. Naruto cocked his head to the side thoughtfully and pondered the decision before giving the same inward shrug. Once, he thought that Jiji knew who he was and therefore gave him the respect of his station as the spirit embodiment of Konoha. Then he realized that Jiji thought of him as the living vessel of the Kyuubi, the humanoid Kyuubi, which had a chance, if carefully nurtured, to weild human emotions. Maybe he should be sad that the one person that he vaguely likes had such little faith in his humanity. But even if the reasons didn't justify the means, he will try to reach those means. If Jiji wants it, he will deliver. "Ok."

And that's essentially where the story begins.


End file.
